No point ignoring the elephant in the room.“Hayden came to see me today.”
She nodded. “He told me.”
“You didn’t tell me you wanted me to talk to him.”
“And have you charge over to his parents’ house and cause a big thing?” Becca shook her head. “No. And he needed to do it on his own. He’s really struggling, Dad. But he’s being honest about it, and I dunno, but I think that’s worth something.”
You don’t know. That’s exactly the problem.But Owen didn’t want to shut down the conversation even before it got started. “Tell me more.”
“He wants to get a full-time job and give up hockey.”
“He doesn’t want to give up hockey, Bec.”
Her face twisted. “He feels like he should.”
Owen knew that feeling well. “He could. But he will always wonder what would be.”
“If he gets a job, we can get an apartment together.” There was so much hope in her voice, it killed Owen.
“Is that what he’s told you he wants?”
Another nod.
“It’ll be hard.”
“I know.”
“Is he going to try to get more hours at Mac’s?”
“No.” She played with the blanket as Charlie squirmed. “That was a temporary thing. He has to get out of his contract with the team first before he starts job hunting.”
“How temporary? He was there this morning when your uncles and I went in for breakfast.”
“Frank is letting him work a few more weeks. I don’t know exactly. We haven’t made a firm plan yet, it’s just talk. I told him, I wouldn’t make a plan until he got things straight with you.”
It wasn’t for Owen to give the green-light to their relationship, though. It couldn’t be his responsibility, even if he wanted it to be. He always wanted to shoulder the risk others took, that was a hard lesson he’d had to learn. But this was Becca and Hayden’s call to make, not his. “It was good of him to come and talk things out with me, but you two need to be clear on what you want. I told him that, too. I told him he needed to be honest with everyone. Have you thought about what might happen if he doesn’t get a job? What if he focused on hockey until it ran its course?”
“He won’t pick hockey over Charlie.” Her chin jutted out, her eyes glittering. “He’s Charlie’s father.”
“He’s hurt you more than once.”
That stopped her, but only for a moment. “Maybe Charlie and I need our own space either way.”
“I would understand that, if that’s what you want.”
“It is. For me, and Charlie, and Hayden.”
She was so steadfast in her support of him. Owen shook his head gently. “That kid doesn’t deserve you.”
“Thatkidis the father of my child, so enough with the growling.” His daughter’s voice sharpened to a knife point, and Owen froze. “He came to you and told you he fucked up. He’s doing the work to be there for us. But more importantly, I want to live with him. I want to give him that chance, and I don’t need you to judge me for it.”
Owen had never been more uncomfortable in his oversized body than in this moment.
“You wanted more than this for me.” She looked at him, square in the eye, as she said that.
He couldn’t lie to her. “Yeah. I did.”
The right corner of her mouth lifted in a sad smile. “This is all I want for myself right now.”
