“I wish life was more than just surviving for you.”
“Oh, of course it is. I’m blessed, Dean. You’ve just seen me at my worst. But I’m so, so lucky.”
“You love singing.” It wasn’t a question. He’d seen how it transformed her, but it also terrified her, and he’d seen that, too.
She nodded. “I really do.”
“You were young when you made your first album, right?”
“Eighteen.” She shook her head. “Hard to believe. And that’s why I’m in the position I’m in now. It pains me to think of how young I was and I was signing contracts that would dictate the next twelve years of my life.”
“And now you’re nearly at the end of that.”
“I am.”
“Is that…exciting? Scary?”
“Both. But other than choosing a different producer, a different label, reading contracts more closely… not much else will change. It’s still kind of isolating, no matter how big you get. Maybe even more isolating the bigger you get.”
“It’s a bizarre life, in a way, right? I can already see that, although you’re really grounded with the crew and your band.”
“Yeah. But it makes me really value moments like this, you know? Like, I know how special this is right now with you. It’s private and real. And I don’t mean sex, but talking. I don’t need to hedge what I’m saying at all. I get this with you, I get it with Hope…a little bit with Jackie, but even then, I’m her boss. You know? I pay her. So I have to be on and positive and I can’t show her how weak I am.”
“No. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
She laughed. “Your brother is literally going to war, right?”
“Bah. That’s standard fare for Fosters.”
“Have you ever been overseas?”
He shook his head. “Never got a chance to go on a tour. Couldn’t get the time off work. Might now that I’ve left the police force, but there aren’t that many open spots for reservist Warrant Officers. I’ve been promoted out of the ranks that usually get sent on tour.”
She traced an imaginary circle on his shoulder, then filled it with a kiss. “I think your army talk is as foreign to me as music talk is to you.”
“We’ll have to teach each other.”
When would they do that? Suddenly the end of the tour felt around the corner. She pushed that away. It didn’t matter. They had this, they had tonight. Another circle. Another kiss. “Okay.”
She curled into his side. She expected to be the one to stay awake this time, but he stroked her hair and, before she could stress about not getting enough sleep, she drifted off.
When she woke up the second time, it was dawn.
Dean was dressed, and bent over her. His lips brushed hers again. Oh.
She smiled. “A wake-up kiss?”
“A wake-up-and-go-back-to-sleep kiss. I’m sneaking out.”
“Bring me coffee in a few hours?”
“Of course.”
She poked her hand out from under the covers and wrapped her fingers around his hand, planted on the bed beside her. “Thank you for last night.”
“Our secret,” he murmured with a smile.
She touched her fingers to her lips as he quietly strode to the door, checked the peephole, and slipped into the hall.
