“Phew.”
“But.”
“I was waiting for the but.”
“I’m leaving the country in three weeks.”
A punch in the gut. She hadn’t been expecting that.
“I got a work placement in New York. Six months to start, but then it might go longer. It depends on the job, but also on me. I wanted to shake things up. I arranged it before my dad died. After he did, I tried to bail, but Mum didn’t want me to stop doing what I wanted just because of that. She didn’t realise what a shit daughter I was going to be in the interim, never going home, but that’s another story.” Ali exhaled. “Which is why, when it comes to us being a couple—and I’ve no idea if that’s what you want—I don’t know how it might work. And I’m really sorry about that, just for the record.”
Disappointment anchored itself in Morgan’s stomach. “But you’re coming back eventually?”
“Yes, but I don’t know when that will be.” Ali leaned forward and peered out the window. The snow was getting heavier. “Shall we get going?”
Morgan nodded and tried not to stare at Ali’s fingers as they gripped the wheel. The same fingers that had gripped her last night. The ones she’d hoped might do so again. But now, she learned it might be a one and done. Something bubbled up inside her and her eyes stung. She blinked.
Fuck, she would not cry.
She took a deep breath and looked away from Ali.
One night. If that was all this was, so be it. She wasn’t going to come across as a loser. She had to be cool. She could totally do that.
“I’m not going to pretend I’m not disappointed.” Morgan’s voice cracked on the final word. She cleared her throat and composed herself.
Ali kept her eyes on the road as they made their way out of the airport and onto the road home.
“Because it feels like we could be something. We both live in Glasgow. We like each other. We’re very good at kissing. We’re even better at sex.”
Ali let out a strangled laugh as she guided them off a roundabout and past a sign that told them they were 32 miles from home. “I can’t argue with that. We were all those things.”
“Is it because of who I am? Because if it is, Nicole will get over it. Don’t believe a word of what she tells you, by the way. I was only terrible to the men I went out with. I’m far nicer to women.”
“Good to know, but it’s nothing to do with that.” She glanced Morgan’s way.
Morgan heated from the inside out.
“I’ve had a thing for you for longer than I care to remember. Nothing Nicole might think would deter me from seeing where this goes if it was an option. But it’s not.” Ali shook her head. “And before you say we could make it work, we can’t. New relationships need care and attention. We can’t do that if we’re thousands of miles apart. Believe me when I say I would love to see where this goes, but I don’t want to ruin it before it’s even begun. This is just a case of right place, wrong time.”
Morgan’s insides twisted once, twice, three times. There had to be a way around this. She didn’t want this to be the end. It was really just the beginning. But even as she thought that, she knew what Ali said was right. If she was leaving the country, it wasn’t fair to put ties on either of them.
“I could come and see you. I might even wait for you. It might work. Is this you being glass half empty again?”
Ali turned her head. Her smile was so sad. “This is me being a pragmatist, which I always claimed to be. It’s in my DNA. It’s what developers do. However, my teenage self is gagging right now. Morgan Scott is saying she’ll wait for me, like we’re in a fucking Austen novel and the wind is whipping round my ears—
“Will snow do?”
“—and I’m telling her no.” Ali snorted at her own words.
“What if I want to wait?” Did that sound desperate? Probably.
But Ali shook her head. “There are too many obstacles, too many things standing in our way. Let’s just call this what it was. What itis. A glorious, ridiculous, crazy adventure. We got to see each other in the worst of circumstances. We laughed, we cried, we kissed, we had off-the-scale sex. But it was just for now. Something we can look back on and smile. I don’t want things to be awkward with us in the future. I want you to come into the pub next Christmas and have a drink with me.”
The traffic up ahead made them slow until eventually, they came to a standstill.
Morgan ground her teeth together. She hoped the traffic wasn’t a huge issue. Unlike the one Ali had just unfurled in the car. She couldn’t imagine having a drink with her in the pub next year. Unless she sat in the corner, crying into her beer.
The air in the car grew tense, despite them trying to keep it light. Morgan would remonstrate more if Ali wasn’t driving. Maybe she’d planned it this way.
