I flipped that towel between my fingers again.
“It’s just going to be hard, being the secret one, that’s all. I thought if we got together, we’d be open about it.”
Declan frowned at me, tilting his head to one side slightly. “What do you mean ‘the secret one’?”
“Well,” I said, and then couldn’t think how to explain it. I gestured vaguely round, which I admit wasn’t helpful since we were standing alone in his parents’ kitchen and, I’ve already admitted I wasn’t a good drunk. Clearly this was something sober-me should have talked about.
“Sonny, I’m going to need a bit more than that.”
“It can’t be helped, it’s just that I’m not good at keeping secrets from Lilian and I’m going to miss you guys so much when I have to go back to the city.”
“Why would you need to keep it a secret from Mum? She’s bound to find out. Do you not want her to know?”
“No, I, um, thought…”
I trailed off. What had I thought?
“You said you and Erik were going out. You didn’t tell her you were going out with me. Are we going out? I assumed you and Erik were my boyfriends now but I guess you never said that.”
“Sonny, we’re going out. I love you. You’re my boyfriend, okay? And I’ll tell Mum. I-I thought I already had. No wonder she didn’t mention it, if she doesn’t actually know.”
“You don’t have to tell her. Do you think she’ll be upset that we’re in a poly relationship?”
Declan took a deep breath, and I recognised how brave he was being to talk about this. I wanted to sink to my knees and worship him, to let him know how magnificent I thought he was.
“Magnificent?” he asked.
Oops. Drunk-me was the worst. What a blabbermouth.
He smiled, and it was a genuine smile. I could see it in the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the particular tilt of his lips when he was really happy about something.
He took my hand, which stopped me fiddling with the tea towel.
“I’ll tell her, Sonny. She’ll be okay with it once she’s used to the idea. We can’t hide it. That’s not going to be good for any of us, and it’ll be pointless anyway. You’ve never been able to keep secrets from Mum. Remember the blackberries?”
I gasped, “Sheasked. I swear she already knew, I couldn’tlie.”
The woman was a Mum-shaped lie-detector. My own mother was much more chill, and I’d been able to get away with anything – no homework, not eating my vegetables, staying out late, staying out all night even – and she never worried. It had been Lilian who Mum-bossed me around all my childhood and adolescence. No way could I lie to her. As the Blackberry Situation had proven.
The way Declan laughed made my breath catch in my throat. He gripped my hand tighter and raised it to his lips, dropping a gentle kiss on my knuckles.
“Okay, so you’re the worst liar ever where Mum is concerned. She’ll know tomorrow morning anyway when she sees that the bed in the spare room hasn’t been slept in.”
“I can go in and rumple it up,” I suggested. It’s not that I wanted to hide our relationship from Lilian, I just didn’t want Declan to feel overwhelmed and rushed. This whole thing had happened so fast.
Okay, in mine and Declan’s case, maybe not so fast. We were years overdue this sexy, romantic side of our relationship.
And Declan and Erik had been moving this way for months, so it wasn’t exactly fast.
Me and Erik, maybe that was fast. But hey, he was hot and kind and my rescuer, so my feelings had crashed over me pretty hard. And I was pretty sure that he liked me a lot. His tentacles liked me. Surely one day he’d love me, right?
“Sonny, I’m not hiding our relationship.”
“Do you think I’ll still be invited over for Easter once she knows?”
I’d never considered the possibility that I wouldn’t be invited for Easter. I was always invited for big family holidays, because I was family. But if Declan’s parents didn’t like our relationship, then—
“You’re definitely invited for Easter, Sonny. Mum already said so.”
