I hadn’t seen Declan’s bare legs since the accident. In hospital, they’d been covered by the white sheet and, when any doctors or nurses were going to check on him or dress the wound, he’d stayed silent while the medical staff sent me to stand outside the cubicle with the curtain drawn between us.
I’d never seen his stump before.
The light was too dim for me to make out any details, but the fact he’d been sat beside me without covering it up was… strangely nice.
Erik let Declan leave before saying, “I’ll show you the bathroom.”
I followed him next door and he started the bath running while he got out toiletries, including a spare toothbrush. “Luckily, I bought a pack of four so I have spares.” He then walked out the door and, just before he closed it, said, “Don’t lock this. Just in case you need either of us.”
Slowly, I climbed into the bath. I felt ridiculous but I was glad to sit down. Just walking from the bedroom had made my muscles tired and I sank down into the warm water and breathed out a sigh of relief.
After I turned the taps off, I lay in the water, just soaking and letting the warm water soothe me. Then I slipped down, took a deep breath and pulled my head under the water.
A flash of memory made me jolt. My limbs shot out of their own accord, thrashing in the bath. I hit my elbow hard on the side of the bath and banged my foot against the metal tap and rose from the water spluttering and gasping for air.
That was air I was breathing. I wasn’t under water. This wasn’t the lake.
While I gulped in the humid air, the door opened and Erik hurried in, a worried frown on his forehead.
“Are you okay? I heard you shout.”
I dropped my hands to my crotch, covering my modesty, though it was probably too late for that.
“Um, yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
Doing exactly what I didn’t want him to, he came further into the room and shut the door behind him. He grabbed another towel from the airing cupboard and dropped it on the floor, mopping up the water that had sloshed over the side of the bath as I’d thrashed about.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
Erik lifted the towel and dropped it in the washing hamper with an air of finality.
“Don’t be. I should have realised this wouldn’t be a good experience for you. You shouldn’t be here alone.” He knelt by the side of the bath, bringing his head level with mine. “Do you mind if I stay?”
“I’m naked,” I said. Clearly I couldn’t think of anything original to say.
Erik shrugged. “I see all sorts of nearly-naked bodies at work.”
“Declan’s?” I couldn’t help myself.
He met my eyes, holding my gaze. I knew then that he knew. Knew everything. That I was in love with Declan. That I wanted to tell Declan. That I was scared Declan would reject me.
His eyes were so kind, though, and his voice was soft. “Yes, I see Declan’s body at work. My job is to study people’s movement. It’s very impersonal.”
I wasn’t sure whether to believe him. Maybe it was impersonal for all the other clients he had, but there was something between him and Declan. I’d seen it. I’d sensed it. I’dheardit in Declan’s voice for months and hated it.
“Sit up and I’ll wash your hair. That way you won’t need to duck under the water.”
I obeyed automatically and only as Erik was rubbing shampoo into my hair did I realised that I hadn’t protested at all. His in-charge voice had worked, clearly.
And his fingers were so strong, digging into my scalp with just the right pressure. I wanted to moan with the sensation, but restrained myself. I did close my eyes, though, and revelled in the feeling. Well, I didn’t want to get shampoo in my eyes, did I?
“Here comes the water to rinse.”
Warm water washed over my head and down my back. Erik was holding a cloth up to my forehead to stop it running into my eyes, and it was such a thoughtful little gesture.
“Do you usually wash people?”
“No. Just you.”
