No, that was impossible.
“I pulled them off. They were dragging me down.”
I nodded and he seemed to think that was okay. But I was nodding because I didn’t know what else to do. It didn’t make sense. Just like an octopus that size didn’t make sense in our little lake.
I only stopped nodding when Erik’s hand gently cupped my cheek. Even without meaning to, I leaned into that touch, feeling the cool skin of his hand and wanting to just close my eyes and surrender to… to whatever was going to happen.
“Get into bed.”
I blinked at him, not sure I’d heard right.
His hand slipped from my cheek, brushing his fingers close to my lips and making them tingle with awareness.
A tugging at my chest made me look down. Erik’s hands were working at my coat, undoing it and sliding it off my shoulders.
“You need to get into bed next to Sonny to warm him up. Body heat is the best way. I’m taking this off because it’s cold and wet on the outside, from the ice.”
All I could do was nod again.
Then he worked at my flies and I did exactly what Sonny had, moving my hand there automatically to stop him.
He looked up at me, standing so close, his hand still pressed against my hip. “Take these off as well. They’re wet. They’ll make Sonny colder.”
It was silly to want to keep my trousers on, to conceal the imperfection of my legs, especially from Erik. He’d seen them two dozen times already.
“Okay.”
Erik’s hand moved from my hip to my groin and I swallowed as he undid my trousers and slid them down my legs. As whenhe helped me dress or undress in his physio room, Erik knelt before me and unlaced my shoes, sliding them off and easing my trouser leg over my prosthetic.
He drew the blanket and sheet back and I sat down, lifting both my legs into the bed so I could lie down, and Erik covered me and Sonny both.
Instinctively, it seemed, Sonny turned onto his side, burrowing closer to me to absorb my warmth. I slid my arm under his head and pulled him close, letting him rest his head on my chest.
This was exactly what I’d wanted for so long, this closeness, lying in bed with Sonny in my arms… I just didn’t want it if it cost Sonny his health or—
It hadn’t cost him his life. He was here, in my arms.
He was still freezing and I wished I could transfer my warmth to him directly.
The floorboard by the door creaked and Erik entered the room. I hadn’t seen him leave.
He closed the door behind him and said softly, “To keep the warmth in. There’s no central heating. I’ve turned the portable heater on, though.”
He was carrying a crocheted blanket which he spread out across me and Sonny. When he lifted the corner and slid inside with us, something in me eased. I hadn’t realised I’d been holding myself tightly but my muscles seemed to unclench and I relaxed into the mattress.
Erik plastered himself along Sonny’s back, sharing his heat, and I felt the brush of his fingers on my chest. I felt like the worst man in the world because this was really nice. Somehow, having Sonny sandwiched between me and Erik felt really good.
Chapter 10
Erik
Sonny was sleeping fitfully, held so close against Declan’s side that I was surprised Declan was asleep but he was. His breathing was deep and regular, his face relaxed in a way I’d never seen it before. It was only watching him now, when he was asleep and vulnerable, that I realised how tightly he held himself most of the time.
I’d seen it in his body, obviously, in the tense set of his muscles that I’d spent months trying to work and loosen up, but I hadn’t noticed the tense set of his jaw before. Now, his face was slack, unguarded, and the contrast gave me a little insight into Declan’s inner world.
He’d been tense for months. Guarded for months. What was he guarding himself against?
Sonny moaned and twisted his body slightly. Declan let him move and then, as soon as he stopped, Declan’s arms tightened around him again, pulling him close. I could understand thatinstinct. I was fighting my own instinct to wrap myself around Sonny and never let go.
