“Good luck in court,” I managed to get out, and hung up before I could second-guess myself.
I sagged against the wall, breathing hard as my hand holding my phone fell limp at my side. I ran a hand through my hair, gathering it up off the back of my neck, the air stifling.
“Did you just have phone sex?”
I jumped. My eyes snapped to Delilah. “What?No!” I wish.
She waved her hand over me, hazel eyes flashing with amusement. “Your face is flushed, and you’re all breathless, clutching your phone like it’s a lifeline. Definitely looks like phone sex aftermath if you ask me.”
I shook my head, walking past her to the golf cart we rode out here. “I hate you,” I grumbled.
We climbed into the golf cart, and she turned it on, the engine humming to life. “We’ll be discussing this at your first session, Thursday,” she snickered, and I groaned.
“Yah!”The chorus of little voices rang along the dojo walls, while I cradled baby Hattie in my lap, making absurd noises to make her smile.
“You’re good with her,” Anna said, watching over us fondly.
“I love babies.” I brushed her little wisps of blonde hair like Anna’s forward, my finger trailing down along her soft, chubby cheek. She let out a little coo, her lips forming an adorable ‘o’. “I remember Luke being this tiny. I’d never seen anything more magical in my life.”
I looked up, finding my not-so-little baby stepping forward, his fists up by his face before punching one out with another ‘yah’. His red curls bounced with the sharp movement.
He was so perfect, my chest ached.
“Do you think you’ll ever have more?”
I glanced at Anna. “Kids?” She nodded. “I don’t know. What about you?”
She snorted. “I adore my kids and I’m obsessed with Jo, but I’m still in that phase where if he comes near me wanting sex, I’ll cut his dick off.”
A laugh shot out of me, startling Hattie, but she calmed quickly.
“I’d like to have more someday,” I said, watching Luke again. “If I found the right guy. But I’m not sure that’s in the cards for me with all the baggage I have.”
Anna clucked her tongue, pursing her lips at me before she said casually, “I can think of one. He’s got that whole Clark Kent vibe and may or may not be my cousin.”
“Not you, too,” I sighed, not daring to look at her.
She only laughed more, nudging my body with hers. “You love it,” she said. “But really, what’s going on with that?”
I buried my face in my free hand and groaned. “I don’t know.” And that was the truth.
“Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move?” Anna suggested, taking Hattie from me after she started sucking on my shoulder, hungry.
I snorted. “I doubt it. It’s probably all just in my head.”
“So you do have feelings for him.” It wasn’t a question.
I picked at my nails, unable to look her in the eye. “Yeah. I do.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “Big ones, I think. Ones I didn’t know I was capable of ever feeling again after Jeremy.”
“Wow.”
I nodded. “He makes me feel safe,” I rasped, my nose stinging. “He doesn’t treat me differently because of what’s happened to me, you know? And he really cares about Luke.” My chin quivered. “And me, I think.”
That was something I never had to question with Levi. Every action he took was backed with care. With sincerity and thought. He was probably the most caring person I knew outside of my family. But that’s what made it so much better; he didn’t have to care about us, and yet he did.
Her gaze softened. “Aw, Tessie.” She wiped a tear off my cheek. “Of course, he cares about you. You’re you. Beautiful inside and out.”
I gave her a tight smile, wishing I felt the same, and glanced back at the group of kids, all bowing to the sensei now that class was over. I wasn’t confident like Claire and Delilah, or runway gorgeous like Anna and Brittany, or intelligent like Savannah.
