“But I’m her power of attorney, I can sign the paperwork.”
“Only if she’s mentally unstable or unconscious, which she’s neither,” the pulmonologist, an older man with snow white hair, said. “And to be frank, her cancer has progressed so far that she wouldn’t respond to any treatments at this point.”
I shot out of my chair. “I need some air.”
I left Emmett with the doctors outside Mama’s room and bolted out of the hospital, needing to get away from all of it. The constant anger, the anticipatory grief, and the daily struggle to keep it together were suffocating. My chest tightened with each breath, my grasp on my emotions slipping through my fingers like sand. I was gasping by the time I made it to the parking lot, sobbing by the time I reached my truck.
Thankfully, I was parked in the back of the lot without anyone around, so I had at least some privacy while I lost my mind against the side of my truck.
Never would I have thought I’d be an orphan at thirty-two, that I’d have no one to lean on or go to for advice. Neither of my parents would be at my wedding, meet my children, or even have the chance to grow old.
It was so unfair.
How would I tell Savannah? Tess? I could barely wrap my mind around it myself, so how could I explain it to them? They had no idea how sick she was, and now that it was almost time, I was furious with her for making me keep it from them. They deserved to know, and I had deserved some fucking help through all of this.
I was furious ather.
The window felt like concrete as I beat my fists against it, needing the cathartic release the pain offered. I was so angry at her for leaving me. For making me keep this from everyone. What kind of daughter did that make me? That I’d be mad at her for something she couldn’t even control? She was the one suffering, not me.
“Claire?” I jumped and turned to find Beau idling in front of my truck, his window down. I blinked quickly, my throat aching and raw. I realized I’d been screaming. His brows furrowed when he realized I was mid-meltdown. “What’s wrong?”
Just the sight of him alone was enough to break me. A pained whimper left me, and I slumped against the truck, clutching my stomach. “My mom,” I sobbed, sliding down to the ground. “My mom, she’s—she’s dying for real.” The words were hardly intelligible, just a garbled mess of heartbreak. They were just as painful to say as they were the last time.
Beau got out of his truck and wrapped me in his arms in a matter of seconds. His body was warm and strong against mine,such a stark contrast to how weak I felt. I clung to it. Him. My hands curled into fists in his shirt as I let myself cry fully for the first time in years. He was my lifeline in this stormy sea of despair, the only thing keeping me afloat.
He stroked my hair tenderly, his other hand rubbing my back in calming circles as he soothed me. Once I got my crying under control, I broke the hug, but he didn’t let me go entirely; his hand settled on my waist as if he somehow knew I needed it. He ran a thumb across my cheek, catching a tear. “What happened?”
I sniffled and told him everything. Every sordid detail that I’d kept to myself these last three years. The tests, the terrible results, how she told me not to say anything to my siblings, how she got worse. All of it.
Beau held me the entire time, wiped my tears as I cried again, and encouraged me to keep going when I struggled to get the words out. He touched me with a kind of reverence that no one had ever shown me before. Offered the kind of support I was desperate for.
“You’re so strong,” he whispered, his thumb caressing my cheek. His other hand was wrapped in mine, our fingers tangled in a confusing mess that just happened naturally as I talked. “So fucking strong. I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m so proud of you. No matter what life’s thrown at you, you’ve faced it head-on. Nobody would’ve ever guessed you had all of this goin’ on with the way you handle yourself. You’re absolutely incredible, Claire.”
It warmed my heart to know he felt that way, that someone recognized how hard I’ve tried to work with the shitty hand I’d been dealt, but that didn’t change my reality.
“I don’t feel strong,” I admitted. “I’m exhausted, running on fumes, and have been for a while. I’ve decided to pull out ofCavendish; it was a pipe dream anyway. I can’t juggle it all. Not anymore. Not when my mom needs me the most.”
“You don’t mean that.” His head tilted, worry etched into every beautiful feature. Seeing him disappointed hurt more than I thought it would, but I didn’t have it in me to fight for the partnership, fight these feelings I was developing, and fight for my mother’s life at the same time.
“I do.” My chin quivered. “I’m just so tired, Beau. I can’t do it. I’ve got nothing left,” my voice cracked.
“Now I know that’s not true.” He lowered his head, raising his brows to meet my downcast stare. “You are a fighter. You’re the same girl who ran a 15.5 at the State Finals with a twisted ankle, the same one who set the arena record at Gold Rush Arena. You’re a goddamn monster, Claire, absolutely unstoppable. Invincible.” He grinned, and it felt like the sun parting through storm clouds. “And I mean monster in the best way possible.”
I couldn’t believe he knew my stats. Stats from a decade ago that had surely been replaced by now. “How do you know any of that?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “I kept up with you. I went to see you compete in Sugar Land once. You were probably twenty-two or three. I’d gone to so many of Weston’s rodeos, but never yours, not unless you were competing with Anna when we were kids. But I’d never seen anything like it. You were explosive, powerful”—his eyes darted between mine—“absolutely fucking beautiful.”
“Beau…” I rasped, completely overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by sadness and the way he was starting to make me feel. After what he did for Emmett and the way he kept showing up to the ranch to help out when he had his own to worry about, it changed things—pushed what I felt far past simple physicalattraction. It was confusing. I was supposed to hate him…but I didn’t. Not at all.
“And then I saw you the other day, chasin’ after us with that same determination—I was mesmerized watching you, Claire. Just as mesmerized when I watched you turn your tour around last week. You never gave up before, so don’t give up now.” He squeezed my hand. “Please. Make me earn it, because winning would be so boring without you fightin’ me every step of the way.”
I scoffed, looking down at our feet.
“There it is. That smile. I’ve been missin’ it.”
Not only had he made me feel supported, but beautiful too. Beautiful and wanted in a way no one else had. My eyes slowly rose to meet his, the air carrying something heavy that wasn’t there seconds before. He swallowed roughly, his voice was low and soft as he said, “When you look at me like that, it makes me want things I can’t have.”
My heart thundered against my ribs, my breaths coming shallow and quick. Not once had I ever felt this intensely drawn to someone before. Or this instant spark that seemed to ignite between us. “What kind of things?”
