He walked out of the kitchen and took the stairs two at a time. He didn’t want Becca to hear any of this.
“I was offered a job in Barcelona. You know I love it there. It’s a chance of a lifetime and that’s where I’m going. It was too good to pass up.”
This was just like Jonathan. Kind of ironic both of their exes had the same issue.
Selfish with their lives and careers.
“Then you’re not going for any kind of custody or visitation,” he said firmly. He didn’t ask it or give her a chance to ask again.
She was opting to move out of the country and there was no way in hell he’d take Becca on a plane there.
“No,” Rene said. “Not that you need to know any of this, but I ended my pregnancy.”
He shut his eyes and let out a breath. “Why are you telling me?”
“I know you hate me,” Rene said. “I get it. We aren’t the same people. I didn’t want to be a mother. I don’t want to be tied down.”
Her tone was matter of fact.
“Then why the fuck did you put me through hell saying you wanted custody?”
He knew his voice was loud when he heard the music turn up downstairs on the TV.
Alana must be encouraging Becca to dance as a distraction from him being upstairs.
He wasn’t the only one that wanted to put his daughter’s well-being first and it was just another reminder that he found the person he’d been waiting for.
“I don’t know,” Rene said. There was actually confusion in her voice. “Everyone around me was talking about babies and how great they are. I had a moment where maybe I thoughtI could give it a shot. Was I missing something everyone else had?”
He shook his head. “You wanted to give motherhood a shot like trying a new pair of shoes on that everyone else had and you wanted a piece of it?”
None of this made sense.
And if that was really her reasoning, it was sick.
“Don’t make it sound like that,” Rene said sharply. “It’s been a few years since I’d been around Becca as a baby. When I found out I was pregnant again, I had to decide. If it didn’t work, then Jake could have the kid.”
His skin was crawling right off his body with as callous as she was talking. So much for her feeling as if she wanted to try it. “So itwashis child?”
“I don’t know. The test isn’t back yet. It doesn’t matter. It’s not what I want and it’s my choice. When the offer came in, I took it. I couldn’t pass it up and that told me right away, I don’t want a kid. I start next week and am packing everything up to move.”
There was nothing he could say to any of this. At any point Rene could have done the same thing with his child and he had to be thankful he’d convinced her not to do it. Or that she was mature enough this time to not put another child through what Becca might experience wondering why her mother didn’t love her enough.
He knew all along he was going to be doing it alone, but there was no way he was going down without a fight back then.
It had never come to that. But he wondered if Becca hadn’t been his, how things would have turned out.
No, he couldn’t let his mind travel a road of hypothesis.
“So now what?” he asked. Anything to get this conversation over with and some kind of closure. “Do you want updates on Becca? Anything?”
“Whatever you want,” Rene said. He could almost see her waving her hand as if she was swatting him away. “Let’s be honest. She’s more your daughter than mine. She was from the moment I said I was pregnant. I know you wanted a large family. You never made a secret of it.”
He hadn’t with Alana either.
She shared that vision with him.
“We don’t always get what we want.”
