“Oh,” she said. This was news to her. She’d never asked why he went into accounting. He hadn’t asked her either. It’s just not something that came up much.
“I loved my husband deeply, but his job made me nervous. My biggest fears came true. I didn’t want to try again and that’s on me. But Brennan got the short end of the stick. None of his grandparents at the time were close by and now they are all gone.”
“I’m sorry you went through that,” she said.
Sadie waved her hand. “Everyone goes through hard times in life. Seems you did yourself.”
“Nothing like that.”
“It’s not a comparison,” Sadie said. “Not when the heart is involved.”
“I’m not afraid to love again,” she said. “I hope you don’t think I’m jaded.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I’m not positive that Brennan has been in love. Not like he loves his daughter. I know he’s capable of it. I worry he’s too in love with the idea of this family life he didn’t get.”
She wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. “So he’s looking for a mother for Becca?”
“No,” Sadie said. “Does he want that? Absolutely. But he wants that woman to treat Becca as if it’s her own child the same as any other children they’d have. I’ve told him many times you don’t know until the day comes.”
“I don’t believe that,” she said. “Otherwise how do people adopt children and love them as fiercely as a biological one?”
Sadie frowned and then smiled. “I’ve never thought of that before.”
“I think you know before it happens. Or love finds you before you can stop it. Becca is a very loveable little girl. She makes it hard for you not to want to have her in your life.”
“She does,” Sadie said. “And I can see you’re falling for her already.”
“I am.”
“Is it just her or my son that you’re falling for?”
She felt the heat fill her face. “Both. But we’ve both been burned and are hesitant to light a match for another fire.”
“You’re wrong,” Sadie said. “My son started that fire the day he let you into Becca’s life. What you’re controlling is the accelerant. It’s my hope that you’re careful with how much you pour out and at what speed so that no one gets more than singed.”
“No one wants that more than me,” she said.
Sadie moved closer to her and put her hand on her arm. “Everyone gets singed. That’s part of falling in love. I want that for my son. Without the heat, it won’t last. What I don’t want to happen is Becca to get scorched if you two can’t regulate the flames.”
32
NOT MY STYLE
“Not that horrible, was it?” Brennan asked two hours later.
They’d just walked into her house. Alana was going to cook him a nice dinner and maybe they’d watch movies and snuggle on the couch.
Nothing exciting but a night she’d always wanted and never got to have for New Year’s Eve.
Jonathan was all about loud electrifying gatherings. Once in a while was great, but every year it was too much.
Once, early on, she’d mentioned a romantic dinner in and he shrugged it off that they could do it any time they wanted. New Year’s Eve should be special.
Too bad they never did her suggestion another day of the year.
Or maybe it was a good thing they hadn’t because now she got to experience it with someone who would appreciate the gesture.
“No,” she said. She wouldn’t tell him exactly what his mother said in the kitchen. “You worked me up for nothing.”
