“It’s not like that. You’re not like him. This is what I want, Nick. It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask of you.”
“It’s what I want, too, Care.” He pulled me against him. “It’s what I want more than anything in the world.”
CHAPTER 21
NICK
That night, it was different between us. The sex we’d had over the past few nights had been everything from hot and hard to slow and sweet. And it had been intense as hell since our first touch. But the night we had to say goodbye was the first time we truly made love.
Everything was wrong between Cara and me, from our ages to our professions to our feelings about the holidays. And yet she was completely perfect for me. I spent the long minutes and short hours memorizing everything about her. Her honey-sweet lips. Her silky skin against mine. Her soft groans and louder moans as I pleasured her. The curve of her back that deepened when she arched with every release.
“So perfect,” I murmured as she straddled me and sank, warm and wet and tight, onto me. She rode me with wild abandon until we both panted and cried out and came together, over and over again.
My heart ached every time I thought about the next day and having to watch her drive away, so I pushed the thoughts out of my mind, and for the first time in at least twenty years, lived in the moment.
Hours later, we lay naked in each other’s arms, spent and satisfied and so, so sad.
“About tomorrow,” she said quietly.
I closed my eyes and pulled her closer, dreading the words but needing to hear them.
“Kat said she’d drive me to the car rental office. I know you planned to do it, but I don’t think I can say goodbye to you in public.” She ended on a sob.
I opened my eyes and kissed her cheek. “I understand. Whatever you need.”
“Thank you for respecting my wishes about everything. I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”
That cut me to the quick. Her asshole ex hadn’t respected her wishes or autonomy or privacy. I never wanted to make her feel the way he had. So, I would let her go, despite her being wrong about one thing. This wasn’t ending before the heartbreak. Not for me. My barely healed heart was shattered all over again. But I’d live with that to protect her.
“I do respect your wishes,” I whispered. “Always. You deserve that and so much more. You’re the prize. Not that last guy. Not any man who’s lucky enough to be with you.Youare always the prize.”
“One man is. You are, Nick Roman. You’re a good man. You’ve earned your spot on the nice list.” She smiled with her lips, but not her eyes. “And the naughty one, come to think of it.”
“Glad I made an impression,” I whispered.
“An indelible one.” She blinked back tears, then laid her hand over my heart. “And if you ever leave this line of work…”
That wouldn’t be any time soon. I had contractual obligations as well moral ones. But maybe someday. I laid my hand on top of hers. “You’ll be the first person I call.”
CHAPTER 22
CARA
Iarrived home on the morning of Christmas Eve. I pulled into the driveway in front of my parents’ house and turned off the engine of my rental car. I was home, where I could climb into my childhood bed and nurse my broken heart.
But only for today. I would feel the pain for a long time to come, not only for what Nick and I already had but also for the potential of what could have been. But I wouldn’t hide in my apartment and wait for scraps like occasional text messages and booty calls. For one thing, Nick wasn’t the kind of man who would do that to me. For another, I’d agreed when he’d asked me to get on with my life and I didn’t want to break my last promise to him.
I would dive into my art and my friendships. I’d get a cat. And I’d miss Nick from afar but I would hope for all the best things for him.Hehadn’t broken my heart. He’d healed it. Maybe I’d helped heal his, too. But I would spend a long time wishing things could have been different.
Okay, maybe I was heartbroken, after all, but that was the fault of the circumstances, not the man.
I climbed out of the car and dropped my keys into the purse I’d received from Nick’s spy boss, Kat. She’d given me that, a few changes of clothes, some expensive shampoo—all of which she wanted me to keep—and a lot of advice on adopting a cat. In a different world, we might have become friends.
I picked up the bag full of Kat’s gifts, centered myself to prepare for all the questions my parents would have about the things I’d been keeping from them, and trudged to the house. When I stepped inside, I heard their voices coming from the family room. They were awfully wide awake for 8 a.m. and from the sound of it, already in a celebratory mood. I stared longingly at the stairs. I wanted to go to my childhood room and crawl into bed, but ignoring my family would hurt their feelings.
I turned to walk to the family room and ran into a large, sturdy cardboard box. My name was on the delivery tag. There was a second box that was large enough for my suitcase to be inside it. But the one in front of me was larger, and it could only be one thing.
My heart pounded faster. Buddy and his wife Sue had packed all my left-behind belongings, and Kat had promised to have them shipped express, but I couldn’t believeMother Treehad beaten me home.
