“I told them to stay away from Gia the first time I saw the two of you.” Gale finally breaks my gaze to look at Lyot. “I told them she was mine.”
“Yeah, I remember that day,” Lyot says, slow and confused. “Pretty sure you weren’t the only one trying to stake a claim.”
“Tell himwhy, Gale.” I cross to him. “Why was I ‘yours’? Because it had nothing to do withthis, did it?” I grip his hands, still wrapped in the straps, and squeeze, hoping it hurts. Hoping he remembers the first time he threaded his fingers into mine and I gave him my truth when he asked. From the way he squeezes back, I know he does.
“No,” he admits. “It didn’t.”
I wish he had lied instead. I want him to fight me with dark words and fire, but when I pull my hands away, he looks at me like he knows it’s the end of everything.
Because it is.
Lyot is watching us, his frustration mounting and an edge of panic fringing his eyes as slow comprehension dawns.
Lyot.
“I’m sorry.” Bitterness and sorrow leak from my tongue. “I never should have dragged you into this.”
“I’m not.” He crosses to us, hands outstretched and pleading. “I’mnot sorry.” Both hands fall like he can’t decide who he’s reaching for. My fault. God, I made himcare. All I ever do is break him, over and over. I should let them both go.
“Tell him,” I say to Gale. “Maybe he’ll forgive you. He’s much better at that than I am.”
“No, he won’t.” Gale pulls himself free of the straps and backs away from us.
“You’re not even going to try?” God, I’m fucking furious with him right now, and I don’t know which is worse, the deception or the giving up.
“Try what?” he asks. “Lying to you? Whatever you think, that’s never been our style.” He gives me a bitter smile that tears at the edges of my ravaged heart. “Lying is for people trying to pretend they’re not going to hurt each other.”
“So when you told me you would wreck me—when you said you wouldn’t be careful or love me or care. That wasn’t a lie?” It comes out small, and I shouldn’t be asking. No matter how he answers, it will destroy me.
“Was it a lie to let me believe that’s what you wanted?”
“Stop,” Lyot begs, grabbing my arm. “What is happening right now? You two decide this is over? Justdone, and I don’t get a say?”
I turn away from the flash of anguish in Gale’s eyes, the hurt and disbelief in Lyot’s.
Not my betrayal. Just my mistake. The stupidest thing to miss, to let the dragon fire seduce my monster and forget I’ll always be a Laurent before anything else.
“You should go with her.”
“Not until you tell me what the fuck just happened so I can decide if I need to kick your ass.”
Their words bounce off the door as it clicks shut behind me, and before my leaden legs betray me, I take the only path left.
Gathering the remnants of my broken heart, I flee.
39
Gale
Is it crazy that I want him to hit me? That I’m watching his mouth, and all I can think is that even though I’ll never taste it again, at least if he hits me, I’ll carry the scars on the outside for a little while?
I don’t deserve his forgiveness. He tugs at his hair, pacing the room, and I slide down the wall, closing my eyes and wishing I could block out the sound of his voice too. I don’t need him to tell me I fucked up. I don’t need to hear about Gia and her oldest, deepest fears, the ones she buried underneath her monster and I didn’t try to dig up.
My parents have been whoring me out since I was six years old.
I let it go and went for the wounds she offered up. The sharp edges of her fresh scabs with their easy blood. I went for Lyot because we both wanted him.
Maybe I should have fought back or lied. Given her one of those rom-com lines like “That was before I knew you.”Before I fell in love with you.Except it wasn’t. Because I was falling in slow pieces the whole time, and I let myself use her anyway. I might be a fucking sadist, but I’m also a coward. I should have told Celeste to fuck off a long time ago.
