“I just keep on thinking about our original plan. And then I look at us now and can’t help laughing at how stupid and naïve we were all those years,” he says in the end.
“But this can still be the best year of our lives.”
He lowers his arms with a hmph. “God, no. No way can the best year of my life start as fucked up as this. I’m not having it.”
“You’re right. I just wanted to say something optimistic.”
“You’re spending too much time with Ember,” he says. When I glance at him, he hastily adds: “And Ruby.”
Wren kicks a stone down the path. We watch it skitter away a few yards. “What was it like for you? With Ruby, I mean.”
I have to think about that for a moment. “It just kind of happened. I wanted to fight it at first, but I soon realized that was pointless. I love Ruby. And that’s not changing anytime soon.”
Wren’s eyes widen slightly. “Seriously?”
I shrug. “Yeah.”
“That sounds so serious. Like you’re sure you want to spend your life with her.”
“Yeah, maybe I do.” The words come of their own accord, and even though it was such a struggle six months ago, they don’t scare me any longer. Quite the opposite, in fact.
“Shit, bro.” Wren shakes his head.
“Want to tell me about her?” I ask.
He rubs the back of his head. “I’d rather not.”
“OK. But just so you know: I’m here if you want to talk. And I think maybe we should do more of that.”
“Thanks. Me too.”
I watch some of the juniors running around the fire, chasing one another with sticks. Some of them are sword-fighting, and I see Lin telling them off. Lin, who poked me in the back with a stick herself not so long ago.
“Heard anything from Cy lately?” Wren asks out of the blue.
I watch the sparks rising up from the fire and fading away against the sky. “No.”
“I’m starting to get worried. He hasn’t been in school for two weeks. Nobody knows what’s up with him.”
I shouldn’t give a fuck, but I can’t help the alarm that rises in me.
“Maybe I should invite him to my party,” Wren continues. “Although he probably wouldn’t come. He’s been ignoring all my messages. He must be feeling bad over the thing with Ruby and Lydia.”
“And so he fucking should.” It slips out, sharper than I intended. I sigh. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive him. He could have wrecked Ruby’s entire future.”
“But he admitted his mistake and tried to put it right, didn’t he?”
I don’t answer.
“There’s no harm inviting him. Trust me, I know he fucked up. But so have we all. It would be kind of hypocritical not to be there for him, don’t you think?”
I grit my teeth. Then I stretch out my hand for the flask. I take a couple of swigs, enjoying the burn as it works down my throat.
“I hate it when you’re right,” I say.
Wren grins and puts an arm around my shoulder.
Once I’ve said goodbye to him, I go back to searching for Ruby. There’s a blanket in my car, and a mini speaker, in the hope we might be able to hang around a bit after the event, looking up at the starry sky.
