I nod. I might not have personal experience of the kind of bond Ruby has with her family, but I know how important it is. “I love the way you are with each other. Not everyone is able to talk about stuff like you all do. I never meant to pressure you. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t pressure me. I chose to keep them out of everything—that’s what I’ve spent the last couple of years doing anyway,” she says, quietly but firmly.
I stare at my fingers.
I replay the sound of Dad’s hand connecting with Lydia’s cheek. It filled all my dreams last night, waking me up again and again.
“James?” Ruby whispers.
I study the skin spanned over my knuckles. “Sometimes I wish we could be like that. That I had parents—a family—I could talk to like you do with yours. I…” That’s all I can manage.
“I know,” says Ruby. She slides a little closer to me, and our knees touch gently together.
“I can’t believe Dad sent Lydia away.” I’m breathing faster suddenly. There’s a violent pounding in my chest, and my body feels too cramped for what’s going on inside me. “I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I couldn’t do a thing, Ruby.”
Ruby lays her hands on my clenched fists. Her touch is gentle and warm, and so is her voice when she speaks. “Nobody could have stopped it. You did everything you could.”
I gulp hard. It’s like there are a million pins stuck in my throat. “But it wasn’t enough. And…I’m so sorry for what happened yesterday.”
“I know that,” Ruby answers softly. She squeezes my hand, and I lift my head to be able to see her. There’s grief in her expression, but there’s something else too. Something that I cling to because it feels familiar and right.
“Being there for you and Lydia is all that matters to me at the moment.You twoare all that matter to me,” I say, relaxing my hand so that I can turn it and hold Ruby’s. I lift it cautiously to my lips and press a kiss onto the back of her hand.
There’s warmth coming back into Ruby’s eyes. And life. “I doubted that for a while,” she admits quietly. “Outside Lexie’s office.”
I nod. Yes, I saw. I saw her look of disbelief and disappointment, and it cut me to the bone. I know that I’ve made major mistakes in the past. But taking those photos—that kind of thing is not part of my life now. Scheming like that doesn’t fit the man I am now. The man I want to be.
“I didn’t even realize the pictures were still on my phone.”
Ruby nods. Then she exhales audibly. “It’s going to be hard to convince Lexington of the truth.”
“Probably.”
For a moment, we’re both lost in thought.
“How’s Lydia?” Ruby asks in the end. “What’s going to happen to her now?”
I clear my throat. “She’s living with Aunt Ophelia and has a tutor to get her through her A levels. Dad threatened to press charges against Sutton if she didn’t go along with it.”
Ruby stiffens, and I see the same rage that I’m feeling flicker in her eyes.
“I wish I could pack my bags too.”
“Why don’t you?” she asks cautiously. “Maybe then he’d come to his senses and realize that he’s made a mistake.”
I shake my head. “I can’t let things at home keep escalating. If I go, I won’t have any chance to convince Dad to let Lydia come back.”
Ruby frowns. “So that means…”
“…that for the time being, I’m doing what he wants,” I say flatly.
“Oh, James.”
I shrug my shoulders. The last thing I meant to do when I came over was burden Ruby with more of my family shit.
“Do you think he’ll ever change?” she asks, stroking the back of my hand with her thumb.
I think for a while, listen to my heart. I’ve never considered whether Dad could ever be different. For me, he’s only ever been Mortimer Beaufort—a businessman with the highest expectations of me, someone who’s heaped so much pressure on me all my life that I’ve felt suffocated by it.
