He looks at me for a long time, not saying anything. Then he sighs. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
“What’s he blackmailing you with?” I ask, barely audibly.
James shakes his head, but I’m not letting him off that easily. “We promised not to have secrets anymore.”
“Ruby…”
“You promised!”
“He’ll destroy your whole family,” he says in the end. “Not just Oxford, but everything you care about.”
I feel like I can’t breathe.
“You’ve all done so much for me,” he continues. “I can’t let that happen.”
“We…” My voice fails, and I have to cough. “We’ll find a way. He won’t get away with this.”
“Ruby, listen to me—”
“No, I’m not having it! I’m not letting you throw your plans away, James.Ourplans.”
“It’s not your decision,” James replies, almost unbearably gentle. He raises his hand and strokes his knuckles over my cheek.
I flinch back from him, my brow furrowed.
“How can you keep on,keep onletting him do this to you?” I ask in disbelief.
James presses his lips firmly together.
“Don’t you dare go silent on me now,” I snap. “We’re a team. You can’t just…you can’t justleave.”
He exhales audibly. “This time with you—this time with your family—has been the best I could ever have dreamed of. It was the only thing that kept me going. You have to believe that,” he insists. “But I…I have no choice.”
“You always have a choice!” I say firmly. “I can’t let you sacrifice your future for me.”
The sad smile that flits over his face at that moment takes my breath away. At this moment, I know that I have no chance of convincing him.
He’s decided.
My eyes start to sting, and I have to blink as everything goes blurry. “What did he threaten you with?” I whisper.
“I hope,” he begins, his voice scratchy, “I hope you’ll accept my decision and that you won’t hate me for it.”
I shake my head. His words have hit me right in the heart. I want to scream or break something—just to shake off this feeling of powerlessness that’s filling my whole body. But I just keep sitting there, looking at James.
A tear works its way free from the corner of my eye and runs down my cheek. James catches it with his thumb. “I could never hate you, James.”
He pulls me to his side and buries his face in my hair.
By the time we arrive in Gormsey, an hour and a half later, I feel physically and emotionally exhausted. James and I spent the rest of the drive arm in arm, not speaking. I tried to keep calm by telling myself over and over again that I’m not losing James over this, but it’s hard to believe that when I see the empty look in his eyes. Mortimer Beaufort has taken a part of him away from me today, and I hate him for that, more than I’ve ever hated anyone in my entire life.
I fight against tears as I watch James fetch his bags from ourliving room and say goodbye to my parents, who keep looking anxiously from me to him because they think we’ve argued. It’s only when Ember, who got home not long after us, whispers to them that James’s father turned up at the party, that Mum gives him a hug.
“You’ll always be welcome here,” she says.
James shuts his eyes for a moment. “Thanks,” he croaks. Then he shakes Dad’s hand and walks toward the front door.
I go out with him, through our front garden to his car. Because it was still here, Percy drove back alone in the Rolls once he’d dropped us off. James opens the boot and puts his stuff inside.
