a witchling.
I love you but you do not deserve it.
You will inherit but you do not deserve it.
I never thought I would become a father disappointed in his son.
My own father was disappointed in me, always, always.
But
that is what I have become
and I see now
that is how I will die.
—
Holland and Istare at the note, speechless. “What a major wanker,” she says finally. “He’s a hateful person.”
“He’s wounded,” I say, taking my father’s side. “He feels betrayed by his own son. And by his partner, too.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know how such a colossal jerk could have painted those paintings that are so full of soul,” she says. “How can he be so awesome and so rotten at the same time?”
“I’m not sure he’s rotten,” I say, slowly.
“Then what is he?”
“I think he’s trapped, when all he’s ever dreamed of is escape.”
59
Holland gives mea room to sleep in, and when I open my eyes again, it’s night. I have missed the entire day.
No one’s in the kitchen or the living room, so I text Holland my thanks, take an apple from a bowl in the kitchen, and head back to Hidden Beach.
Nothing at all is clear but this:
I came to this island to find my father. Now that he is found, I can’t rest until I know he’s really seen me.
Matilda Avalon Klein:
the strategist,
the gamer,
the storyteller,
the person who talks baby talk to dogs,
who makes eggs for people even when she feels terrible,
who will clean up a poultry massacre.
Matilda Avalon Klein,
who is insecure and lost, but
