“Okay, but I didn’t know, so I came to try and help,” he explains. “If you need help.”
I can feel his anxiety vibrating through the phone. “I can take care of myself,” I tell him. “You don’t need to feel obligated to me. But thanks for being so nice.”
“You’re usually the one storming the castle or leading the slaughter,” Saar says. “I do know that. I didn’t mean to make it sound like you weren’t capable. I just—I came to see if you needbackup.Backup is what I mean, not help. Your location didn’t move, you know? Not ever.”
“You were checking my location?”
“I asked you if I could, that time you did that overnight visit at UC Irvine. Look at it from my angle. The kid I’m responsible for goes across the country for a short visit and never comes back! Ifshe’s sharing her location with me, of course I’m gonna check it sometimes. And you never seemed to go anywhere on the island. Every time I looked, you were in the same place—on that one property.”
“We were just unplugged,” I say. “There are rules.”
“You didn’t answer me, and your mom had barely heard from you. And then UC Irvine actually called me because you never filled out the form to pick your classes.” He changes the subject. “Oh good. I found the rental car area. Then yesterday I texted—well, I know it was a lot, ’cause I was determined to check in. But also, I saw your location was finally moving. So either you were alive or the cult leader was taking your phone somewhere.”
“You knew I was alive, Saar. Don’t be dramatic.”
“I was worried, Matilda! I didn’t want to be prying into your business, but at the same time, I was like, how’s she gonna obliterate the boss level if she has no backup? And I thought, I’m never gonna forgive myself if she’s not okay and I didn’t go.Classifiedis on hiatus until September, so I just got on a plane, and now— Oh wait. Hold on.” He takes a second to talk to the rental car people and get a set of keys. Then he comes back: “I’m getting in the car. Can I come to where you are?”
I tell him where to go and Saar plugs the North Road Café address into his phone. Then he asks me about Kingsley, and Hidden Beach, everything. By the time we’re done with all the explanations, he is pulling into the parking lot.
“Who’s this guy?” asks Tatum as Saar parks his Range Rover.
“My mom’s old boyfriend that I live with.”
“Is he your stepdad?”
“No.”
“But kinda?” asks Meer.
“I didn’t know you had someone like that,” says Brock. “A dad-type person.”
I am about to say that I’ve only lived with Saar for a couple years, and there’s nothing legal or formal about our relationship; he’s basically a roommate. But then I see Saar’s familiar, wiry self, climbing out of his Range Rover, and I feel hugely happy to seehim.
Saar Adler read and reread my college application essays.
He has a room for me in his house, rent-free.
It’s Saar who buys the groceries I like and texts me when he’s staying over at Serena’s so I don’t worry he got in a car accident. It’s Saar who bought me a college sweatshirt and who plans to take me shopping for a mini-fridge and extra-long sheets for my dorm room. It’s Saar who brought me to celebrate Hanukkah with his parents.
He has come three thousand miles because he’s worried.
He will be driving me to college. I’ll go home to him at Thanksgiving.
“I didn’t know I had a dad-type person, either,” I tell the boys. “But it turns out I do.”
68
At the hotelbar, I drink a lemonade and watch as Saar eats a shrimp cocktail and a mixed green salad. The woman who takes his drink order (seltzer with lime) tells himHighly Classifiedis her favorite show. He tells her it’s his favorite show, too, and she laughs.
I try to explain to him what it has been like here.
How badly I wanted to meet my father.
How I got sick on the way to the island and came in weakened and unsure of my welcome, and
how I loved Meer the moment he told me he was my brother, and then came
to love Brock, and then finally
