‘I see it,’ Wyatt said.
He bent over and pulled the envelope from the hedge and handed it to her. She opened it and pulled out the card. ‘Oh man…’ She groaned.
‘What?’ Wyatt peered over her shoulder. His breath tickled her cheek, and she had to fight the urge to turn and feel it againsther lips. Memories of the other night flooded through her, awakening the parts of her that Wyatt had stirred with his kisses and his touch. They had been so close, so immersed in each other, and it had felt so real. Her eyes closed of their own accord, and she sighed softly.
When she opened her eyes, Wyatt had come around to her side, and he was gazing at her quizzically.
‘Are you OK?’ Concern etched his handsome face, and suddenly her eyes stung with tears. She bit her bottom lip hard to stop them falling but her throat was tight, and her chest ached. ‘Edith?’
She shook her head, pressed the card into his hand, and turned away then started running along the coastal path. The breeze cooled her hot skin as her shoes struck a steady rhythm against the ground. On either side, wildflowers swayed in the wind — yellow gorse, purple heather, and the delicate white blooms of sea campion. The air was sharp with salt and the soft buzz of insects settling for the night, but beneath the beauty of it all, her thoughts churned like the tide, restless, insistent, impossible to quiet.
‘Edith!’ Wyatt caught up with her and took her elbow, pulling her to a stop. He turned her to face him and she fought the urge to snatch her arm away from his grasp.
‘I’m fine,’ she muttered, but her voice wavered, betraying her.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said, his eyes scanning her face as he tried to read her. ‘I have never wanted to hurt you.’
‘Don’t flatter yourself!’ she snapped.
Wyatt swayed on the spot as if her words had smacked him in the face. The moment stretched out between them, heavy with things unsaid.
‘I really am sorry.’ He rubbed a hand over his face, and she heard his palm rasp against his stubble. ‘I wish I was a better man and that I could explain everything to you but…’
‘But you can’t.’ Edith folded her arms over her chest and hugged herself tight. Torn between anger and sadness, she wished she could feel nothing at all. Surely it would be easier than this?
‘It’s all so complicated.’ He sagged in front of her, and suddenly she ached to hold him and tell him it was OK, she was fine, everything was fine. But it wasn’t, and she didn’t have the energy to lie just to save his feelings.
‘The clue,’ she said, taking a deep breath. ‘It leads us back down to the beach.’
He nodded, resignation filling his gaze.
Wordlessly, they made their way back along the path and down to the village. Their steps were in tune, but everything else was not. Perhaps it never had been, and Edith had been a fool all along to believe that Wyatt loved her the way she loved him. She had deceived herself and believed what she wanted to believe rather than seeing the truth. The clues had been there, but she had ignored them.
She would never make that mistake again.
30
WYATT
Wyatt had never felt so furious with himself. Seeing how upset Edith was made him feel utterly worthless, yet he couldn’t find the words to make it right. He didn’t even know where to begin explaining himself. The pain in his chest was suffocating, as though a boa constrictor had coiled around his throat, squeezing tighter with every breath. If this carried on, it would crush the life out of him. But what kind of life would it be anyway, without Edith? Now that he’d remembered what it felt like to truly live beside her, anything else would be a pale shadow of an existence, drained of colour and light.
It’s for her sake, he reminded himself as they walked.To spare her from the awful things she’d have to face if she was with you.
But even as he reminded himself of this, another voice whispered to him, asking if he was being honest with himself. Or was he just afraid of feeling the way he did when he was with Edith? Was she simply too good for him, a man who deserved so much less? Why should he allow himself to be happy after what he’d allowed to happen?
A life had been cut short because of him, and that life would never be bright and happy, never reach the stage of joy and fulfilment that loving someone could bring. Therefore, he had no right to want those things for himself.
They reached the beach and stepped down onto the sand. As it crunched beneath their shoes, Wyatt placed a hand on her arm. She flinched, and that made his skin prickle. How dreadful it was to make the person he loved more than anyone else in the world flinch when he touched her. It couldn’t be further removed from the way he wanted to make her feel. Given time, she would heal and move on from how she felt now, and she would live the life she deserved. Edith deserved all the good things the world could offer her.
‘Everything will be OK, Edith,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry for being selfish and… and bringing the past back to you, but you will be happy. You have a wonderful future ahead of you. I know I keep apologising and the words just don’t convey my meaning properly. They sound empty even to my own ears.’
She blinked and then met his eyes. He braced himself, preparing for anger, resentment or even hatred, but what he saw there made his stomach lurch.
Edith felt sorry for him!
She pitied him, and that was more than he deserved. Her anger would have helped him to stay strong but seeing that she was trying to understand him and to be kind reminded him of what an amazing person she was. And she could have been his partner through life.
‘Everything will be OK,’ she said, placing her hand on top of his where it sat in her arm. ‘I just hope that you’ll find happiness,Wyatt, because I can’t work you out. I thought I knew you once, and that I understood you, but I was wrong. And right now… I realise I had no idea what you were thinking or feeling. It’s very sad.’
