She had nothing left in her to fight with, so she nodded. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and they walked down to the village together. They didn’t speak, but they didn’t need to. Wyatt had seen her naked pain and her grief, and if he hadn’t known before how much he had hurt her, he surely did now. Edith had fallen apart in front of him, and as much as she hadn’t wanted to do it, there was no way she could change it.
When they reached her cottage, she got her key out of her bag and opened the door then turned to him. He nodded, so she went inside, and he followed, waiting for her to kick off her shoes and then lead the way to the kitchen.
She got a bottle of vodka out of the fridge and poured some into a glass, then offered it to him.
‘Thanks.’
She poured another glass for herself, then gestured at the lounge, and they went through and sat at opposite ends of the sofa. She curled her feet up under her and stared into the glass, her eyes throbbing and swollen and her lips sore and bruised.
‘I am so sorry, Edith. I wish I’d known…’
‘What would you have done if you had?’ she asked, finally meeting his eyes again. There was no arrogance in them, just lots of pain. Her breath hitched.
‘I… I don’t know. I loved you, Edith, I really did. It’s important for you to believe that. I didn’t go back to find someone else or to replace you. There was never anyone else. No one could ever be better than you. I just… My life was complicated, and I did what I thought was for the best at that time.’
‘And was it?’
‘What?’
‘For the best?’
Wyatt moved a cushion and then took a sip of vodka. He grimaced before setting the glass on the coffee table. ‘That’s strong.’
‘Only the best for times like this.’
‘Do you have many times like this then?’ he asked.
‘Usually just if brides are feeling wobbly to be honest, but it’s handy to have in the fridge.’ She knew he was stalling, but he probably needed to think about how to word what he wanted to say. She took a sip of her vodka and embraced the burn as she swallowed and the way it warmed her stomach.
Wyatt picked up his glass and took another sip, then shrugged and downed the rest of it. He wiped his mouth and set the glass back on the coffee table.
‘I thought it was for the best because my life back then was complicated. Not in the UK but in New York. There were things I couldn’t tell you about because they were just too hard to share.’
‘If it’s about your mother, then I know she was hard work.’
Wyatt chewed at his full lower lip and rubbed a hand over his eyes. ‘Yes, she was, and yet she had reason to be. I… I wasn’t sure how to explain that to you. It’s not her fault.’
He sighed as he sat back and folded one leg over the other.
‘Tell me now, then. Explain why going back to your mother was more important than being with me. Wyatt, I would have followed you to America. I would have done anything for you.’ The vodka was making her braver than she’d ever been. She was finally telling him the things she’d wanted to back then. ‘But I guess I was just a fool because you didn’t want me there.’
When he met her eyes again, his were shining, their deep hazel more like burnished brass than honey. He dropped his gaze to look down at his hands, the silence stretching between them as heavy as the air before a storm.
‘It wasn’t that I didn’t want you there,’ he said softly. ‘I was scared you’d see the mess I came from and never look at me the same way again. My mother… she has…’ He shook his head as if unable to say it. ‘By keeping that separate from you, I thought I could preserve what we had. But when I went back, it swallowed me whole, and I couldn’t see a way out. I knew that if I brought you into it, you’d be dragged down by it too, and you were… youare… too perfect for that.’ He raised his hand as if to reach for her and then dropped it to his lap again.
‘You could have trusted me with the truth, Wyatt. I’m not some fragile little girl who can’t handle difficult times. I would have been fine if I’d been with you. Didn’t you know how much I loved you?’
When he looked up again, his eyes were glimmering with sadness. ‘I did what I thought was for the best. I believed I was protecting you and what we had from being tarnished by my past. Maybe… maybe I was simply protecting myself from the reality of you walking away from me if you knew the truth. If you saw the darkness.’
‘Please tell me now. Let me in?’ Her voice caught like silk on a thorn, and she placed a hand on her aching throat.
‘I’m sorry, Edith. I can’t. But please don’t think I didn’t love you every bit as fiercely as I always told you I did. You were everything, and that was why I couldn’t hurt you by taking you home. You did nothing wrong. You were the light in the darkness for me. I just wanted you to continue to burn brightly.’
Now he reached out to take her hand, and she let him.
His skin against hers.
His fingers intertwined with hers.
