Without Edith.
Oh damn…
‘Right then,’ Ellie snapped him out of his thoughts. ‘First, we have lemon and elderflower sponge cake. This one is fresh, floral and very light.’
They tasted the cake, and Wyatt had to admit that it was delicious. It tasted like summer in baked form, and he licked his lips, wishing he could eat more of it but knowing that this was about tasting and not comfort eating.
‘Next, we have the salted caramel with dark chocolate. This one is a contrast to the elderflower and lemon, and it’s perfect if you want a more decadent cake.’
While they all tried it, murmurs of pleasure circled the table, and Wyatt saw Edith’s eyes light up as she licked her fork clean. Her lips parted slightly and something inside him snagged like wool on a nail, and he tried to focus on the cake and not onher.But each slight movement drew his gaze, and a pleasant warmth spread through him. He told himself to pay attention to the conversation, to the cake, to anything else. But every time she smiled, his heart gave an unsteady little jolt.
They sampled more flavours, each one divine, and Ellie blushed at their praise. When they paused for a break — there was only so much sugar they could consume in one go — Ellie went to get them more drinks. Edith rearranged the table so that the cakes they hadn’t tried were on one side and those they had were on the other.
‘Well, I’m just here for the icing,’ Titus said with a chuckle. ‘As long as it’s iced, I’m happy.’
They laughed together, and it felt easy and warm. Wyatt relaxed into the moment: the gentle tinkling of cutlery from other diners, the frothing of the coffee machine, the way Finn rested his arm around Titus’ shoulders and how Edith dabbed gently at her pretty mouth. He wondered how it would feel to brush the hair from her cheek or to whisper something sweet into the shell of her ear and see her eyes light up just for him.
As if she’d read his mind, she met his gaze, and something passed between them. A spark flared, and heat seared through Wyatt’s chest. It made his breath catch in his throat, and he sat up straight, aware that this feeling was not to be ignored.
Edith blinked rapidly. She had felt it too. When she stood and grabbed her bag, then excused herself to visit the ladies’, Wyatt wanted to run after her and take her in his arms, pull her against his chest and feel her heart racing.
Of course, he didn’t, because that wasn’t how people behaved after they’d been separated for years, but it was how he felt in that moment and what he wanted to do.Longedto do.
Edith was incredible, and being near her again was messing with his reserve and rattling his composure. Over the years, he’d erected walls around himself, walls that protected him from pain. Edith had been the only person capable of penetrating those walls. She got to him, and he had let her in, welcomed her, and savoured being close to her.
And then he had tossed Edith aside as if she didn’t matter at all, and it had hurt him just as it had hurt her. But he’d believed he had no choice and so he’d breathed deep and swallowed the pain of losing her. It had been better for her to have the plaster ripped off in one quick swipe than for her to suffer a drawn-out breakup, or even worse, for her to know the truth. For her to witness what Wyatt’s life in New York was like, to learn about him and what he’d done. If she’d seen the fallout from his worst mistake, she would have hated him for it. The thought of her knowing was worse than letting her go.
She could hate him for breaking her heart but not hate him for being what he was.A complete letdown. A failure.He had failed the people who needed him the most, and it had led to a tragedy that he couldn’t bear to tell Edith about. She would look at him differently, and that was too much for him to bear, and so he had let her believe he’d stopped caring for her when the exact opposite was in fact true.
Tearing his eyes away from the door she’d gone through, he bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and counted to ten.
He was strong enough to get through this without telling Edith how much he hated himself. Without asking her to hold him. Without begging her to love him once more.
Wasn’t he?
All he could do was try.
Over and over again.
14
EDITH
In the toilets, Edith washed her hands then patted cold water over her cheeks before drying them and gently reapplying some powder. She didn’t wear a lot of makeup, but when she was working, she strove to make sure she looked smart and professional.
Her eyes, usually bright, looked dark as evergreens in the electric light, and she stared into them, wishing she had some way of calming herself down.
It had been a lovely morning so far tasting so many delicious cakes, but she had also been aware every moment that Wyatt was right there. Every time he opened his mouth and that gorgeous New York accent emerged along with the deep timbre of his voice, she felt her whole body quiver. Wyatt was so masculine and so in control of himself. In comparison, she felt like an anxious mess, like she could fall apart at any moment and burst into tears. Perhaps it was because she had residual feelings for him, but he clearly had none for her now. She felt like a silly schoolgirl in his presence, inexperienced and naïve, whereas he seemed like a grownup, a man who knew what he was doing and where he was going.
Shaking her head, she applied some lipstick and then met her eyes again. This would not do. She was here to help her friends plan their wedding, not fall apart over the only man she’d ever loved.
Back in the café, the sounds and aromas comforted her like a warm hug, and she settled onto her chair again, sipped the fresh coffee someone had ordered and exhaled her anxiety.
Titus and Finn were telling a funny story about a holiday they’d enjoyed in Italy, when they’d taken a speedboat out on Lake Como and both jumped in. Being quite muscular and strong, Titus had managed to pull himself back onto the boat, but Finn had struggled. They’d both ended up laughing so hard that Finn had kept slipping back into the water. She laughed as they told the story, and soon she was doubled over — partly because it was so funny and partly because she’d been holding in so much tension.
‘That’s such a brilliant story,’ Wyatt said. ‘What happened in the end?’
‘I eventually dragged him into the boat, and we lay there for a while giggling like fools and panting with the exertion of it all,’ Titus said. ‘But since then, Finn has always declined to jump off anything into the water.’
