When I arrived at his house this morning and Jason opened the door, my jaw practically dropped to the ground. He looked devilishly handsome in his black button-down linen shirt and light grey chino shorts that stopped just above his knees, perfectly highlighting his tanned, muscular calves. And the way his Ray-Bans sat on top of his effortlessly sexy messy hair almost had me undone.
It was then that I felt a sharp pang of envy for his date. She’d get to spend the day gazing at him, surrounded by his intoxicating scent and his warm touch as they walk hand inhand. Watching him drive away to pick up his date was nothing short of pure torture.
Just thinking about it again has me scrubbing the rug with so much force I’m nearly tearing through the fibres.I dip the sponge back into the warm, soapy water and collapse onto the floor, exhausted. I need to get a grip before this jealousy begins to consume me entirely.
The sound of the front door unlocking jolts me to my feet, quicker than a flash of lightning. Jason isn’t due home for another three hours, so I have no idea who would be visiting at this hour.
I grab the bucket of water and place it in the laundry sink. As I step into the hallway leading to the front door, I see Jason standing by the key bowl, absorbed in something on his phone. He looks worn out and a little disheveled. His hair is sticking up in various places and the top few buttons of his shirt is undone. It almost looks as if he just woke up from a long nap.
“You’re home early?”
His head whips around at the sound of my voice, his eyes widening in surprise as he suddenly realises I’m standing across from him. “Uh, yeah... I didn’t end up working tonight. I just got back from my date actually,” he says, smoothing his hair back with his hand.
It must have been one hell of a date for him to skip work, which I’m positive he rarely ever does. Trying to supress my displeasure at the thought of him spending extra time with his date, I manage a tight smile as I ask my next question.
“How did it go?”
He nervously rubs the back of his neck and clears his throat. “It was great. We did the Bridge Climb, and did a lot of walking around the city. Gemma and I got along really well, so that was a bonus.”
My jaw tightens, and a burning ache spreads through my chest. “I’m so glad to hear you guys had fun,” I lie through my teeth. “Will you be seeing her again?”
“Yeah, I am actually. I’m seeing her again next Sunday.”
And just like that, this has been the worst day of my life.
“Oh, that’s great. I’m really happy for you, Jase,” I say with a forced smile, hoping my eyes don’t give away how I truly feel. “Well, now that you’re here, I should probably head out. Jake’s asleep and I’ve just finished cleaning the place, so you can just chill for the rest of the night.”
I brush past him, grabbing my purse from the hallway table, and fish for my keys.
“Wait!” His brows knit in concern as he gently grips my elbow, stopping me from heading out the door. “You’re leaving already? I was just about to grab us some beers and continue the game out on the deck.”
“Not tonight, Jason. I’m feeling a little tired. Could I get a rain check?”
A trace of disappointment crosses his face, but he manages a slow nod. “Yeah, of course.”
He releases my elbow and steps aside, but as I turn towards the door, his hand shoots out to grasp my wrist this time, halting my movements once more. “Hey, is everything okay?”
I nod, forcing a half-hearted smile. “I’m just exhausted, that’s all. I’m fine, Jase. I swear.” His gaze lingers on mine, and for a brief moment, I wonder if he perceives the hurt in my eyes. Then, without another word, he steps back.
As soon as I leave the house, I race to my car and tear out of the driveway without a second glance back. I make a mental note to stop at the bottle shop on the way home because if I’m going to get through this disaster of a night, I might as well do it with a bottle of wine and some good ol’ trashy TV.
The shiraz leaves a warm, bitter taste on my tongue as I down my third glass of red wine. I’m not usually one for heavy drinking but tonight feels like an exception. Surprisingly, the wine is doing its job because I’m starting to feel relaxed and slightly buzzed.
It’s been two hours since I left Jason’s place in a hurry, and I haven’t budged from my spot on the couch since. The TV hums quietly in the background, airing some ridiculous dating show with the most irritating contestants imaginable. It’s got me shouting all kinds of obscenities at the screen, as though they might actually hear me.
Tonight has been such an emotional whirlwind, shifting from anger to sorrow, frustration to pain, until all that’s left is numbness.
The truth is, I’m not even sure why I’m so worked up about Jason’s date going so well. He’s not mine—he never was, and now that he has Gemma, he never will be. In the end, I’m nothing more to him than his son’s young, ditsy babysitter.
The realisation is exactly why I need to let go of this stupid infatuation once and for all. Jason will never see me the way I see him, or feel the way I feel for him, no matter how much time we spend together. I’m done chasing after some foolish fantasy.
I can’t tell if it’s the rush of emotions or the alcohol currently bubbling through my system, but suddenly Sofia’s offer to set me up with one of her boyfriend’s dumb friends doesn’t seem like such a bad idea right now. In fact, I think I might just see if she’s still up for the challenge.
I reach for my phone on the coffee table and quickly check the time. It’s 10:35 p.m., so it’s likely that Sofia’s staying over at Brody’s place. Being a night owl like me, she’s probably still up, watching a psychological thriller she’s seen for the millionth time.
Opening our message thread on my phone, I quickly shoot her a text.
Me:Tell me I haven’t caught you in the middle of having sex again?
