“Will you stop fucking trying to pack!” she cries, slamming the drawer shut, almost nipping my fingers. “You are not taking the fall for this, okay? I’m not letting this happen.” She riffles through her jacket pockets, pulling out prescription bottles. “These might not be enough to prove that the Adderall was mine but it’s worth a shot.”
She’s impossible.
“Leave it alone, Kennedy!” I grab the bottles from her hands, chucking them across the room, my pulse quickening with frustration. “Don’t you dare bring these to Rothland, understand? Not a chance.”
“Are you crazy?” she yells. “You’re throwing away your entire future, Oliver! You’re throwing away your internship! A chance to do what you love! And for what? For me? Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because your future is brighter than mine!” I yell, chest rising, breathing rapidly as I take in her pained eyes.
She’s been through so much. She’s worked so hard for her dreams. She deserves to have a wonderful life. She deserves to get everything she wants. Everything.
“No.” Kennedy sucks in a sharp breath, tears welling up in her eyes. “You don’t get to make that decision, Oliver.” She shakes her head, taking a step closer to me. “You don’t get to decide whose future is more important. You—” She lifts a hand up to my face, her thumb caressing my cheek as she whimpers away sobs. “You can’t do this. Please, Oliver.Please.”
“Kennedy—” I close my eyes, her warm touch spreading to my heart, making it beat like a kick drum. My voice comes out softer as I breathe, “It’s okay to protect the people you love even if it means losing everything.”
An audible airy gasp slips past her lips. “What?”
I place my hand on top of hers, leaning into her palm as our eyes connect in a way, they’ve never done before. Like we’re seeing each other for the first time. The real us. No masks. No pretenses. No games. I see her. She’s so fucking beautiful. And it’s not the type of beauty that fades over time. It’s the type of beauty a blind man could see. It radiates off of her. An energy that fills me with so much joy. So much comfort. So much hope.
“I love you, Kennedy,” I whisper, a weight, lifting off my chest, making it easy to breathe. “I love you so let me do this for you.” I rake my fingers through her silky hair, tilting back her head so I can look into her glossy eyes. “Please?”
“No,” she breathes, blinking away tears as they roll down her cheek. “I still can’t let you do this.”
“Why not?” I ask, tightening my grip around her hair, hoping that she believes me. That she knows I’m never going to hurt her. That I’ll always put her first. Always.
“Because...” She slowly circles her arms around my neck, pushing her body against mine as she raises herself on her tiptoes, her balmy breath blowing against my lips. “Because I’m also protecting someone I love.”
It’s funny. I’ve kissed many girls. Dozens. Some of them I truly liked. Some of them were just for fun. And some I don’t even remember. I’ve even kissedherbefore. But as Kennedy’s plush lips press against mine, so urgent and tender, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a kiss in my whole life. Not like this. This is something otherworldly. Something ethereal. Like locking lips with a goddess. Perhaps I’ve died. Perhaps this is heaven. Maybe God is a woman.
“I love you too, Oliver,” Kenny whispers against my lips. “So please.” She pulls away, looking up at me, pleading, “I won’t be able to live with myself if you go down for something that’s my fault. Let’s figure this out together, okay?”
I love you, too.Four words. I never thought I’d feel such relief from words. Actions are loud, it’s true. But sometimes actions aren’t voluntary. They’re instinctual. Reflexes. Like Kennedy always looking at me. Me at her. But words? Especially sober words? They’re intentional. So when actions and words finally line up? It’s the most powerful combination.
A combination I’ve been waiting for, for so long.
“You are a very stubborn person,” I whisper, pulling her against my chest, my heart fuller than it’s ever felt before. I rest my chin on the top of her head, feeling a high I’ve never felt before. Everything feels so new. So light. “Are you aware of that?”
“I’m aware,” she mumbles into my shirt, hugging me tighter. God, I could stand like this forever. With her in my arms. That’s all I need. “I’m going to fix this, Ollie. I promise.”
I stroke her hair, closing my eyes. It’s time to admit defeat. I don’t stand a chance. Not anymore. I tried to protect her. But I’ve lost.
“How?” I ask, swallowing. “How will you fix this?”
Kennedy pulls back, eyebrows furrowed as she sighs. “I don’t know,” she admits. “Maybe I could—”
“Later,” I say, brushing hair out of her face as I smile down at her. “Let’s just enjoy the next forty-five minutes, okay? Let’s pretend that everything is fine. Just for a little bit.”
“I’m tired of pretending, Ollie.” Kennedy lets out a somber sigh as she leans into me. “I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
“And you don’t need to,” I say. “Not with me.”
A part of me doesn’t want her to fix this. I did thisforher. And I don’t regret it. But if she spends the rest of her life blaming herself
or feeling guilty, then this was all for nothing. It was pointless. I want her to be happy. Fully and wholeheartedly happy.
So she better fix this. Not for me.
But for us.
