“Because he’s not interested in me,” Aurelia said lightly, though she was sure Antonia could hear the sting of it in her voice.
“I doubt that.But if he wasn’t before, maybe he’s changed his mind.”
“I don’t know,” Aurelia said quietly, not wanting to read too much into their recent conversations at the risk of getting it all wrong.
“So what’s the problem?You’ve said he’s smart and cute—forget whetherhelikes you.Is it conceivable thatyoumight like him?”
Aurelia rolled her eyes to the ceiling, not needing much time to think the question over.
“It’s conceivable.”
“Can you imagine kissing him again?Holding his hand while walking down the street?Having him round for the night?”
Aurelia drew in a deep breath.She thought about the moments his guard dropped and he gave her a smile that reached his eyes, or he got excited about an idea for her book.She thought about sitting across from him at the restaurant and what it might be like to have him walk her home, kiss her goodnight, or come up to her flat.She couldn’t deny that the tugging sensation in her belly stretched all the way to her chest as she let each thought pass through her mind.
“Confirmed—I can definitely imagine all that.”
“Alright, that’s something, then.This isn’t a marriage contract—just ask him out on a date.”
“Antonia!”
“If he says no, or if he says yes and then you decide you don’t feel those special magical sparks, then just tell him.No harm done.”
“That would besoawkward.We’d still be stuck working together.”
“Maybe, but you’d get over it.And the alternative is never trying and maybe missing out on something great just because thingsmightget awkward.”Antonia paused.“I don’t want you missing out on things.”
“It’s not just that…” Aurelia took a deep breath.“I’m still not ready.”
“It’s been over a year, Relia,” Antonia said gently, intuiting exactly what her sister meant.“You’re allowed to fall in love and be happy.”
Aurelia knew she was right but still felt guilty at the idea, as if it meant forgetting too.
“Whether it’s Oliver or someone else, just don’t shut out the possibility,” Antonia continued.“Leave that door open, okay?”
“Okay,” Aurelia promised.
They talked until Aurelia’s mug of tea was empty and they’d agreed that Antonia might as well make the most of her Sunday and go out for a long lunch with her husband.Aurelia decided to make the most of her day too.The weather had cleared, and the early spring sun was surprisingly strong as it streamed in through the windows of her flat.She showered and changed, then made her way to Richmond Park for a long walk in the sunshine.
45
Theweatherwasnot,as it turned out, as warm as it had seemed from inside her cozy flat.There was a brisk wind that sent Aurelia into a café on her way home, just to try and get the feeling back into her fingers while holding a cup of hot coffee in her hands.She was so focused on getting warm again that as she stepped out of the café, she nearly bumped into someone who was trying to get inside.They both began to make their apologies when they recognized each other.
“Oliver!”Aurelia almost felt nervous, as though he might have known she’d spent the morning talking about him.
“Aurelia, hi.”His tone was a little cool, bringing back the memory of how she’d rushed out of the restaurant on Friday.
“Actually, do you have a minute?”she asked.
He hesitated.“Sure.Do you want to grab a seat while I get a coffee?”
She found a table and tried not to stare at him as he waited in line to order.He was wearing dark jeans and an old, slightly ragged, woolen jumper that looked like it could become one of her favorites if she ever got the chance to take it from him… or off him.
Aurelia!she scolded herself.Clearly her thoughts from that morning—what it might be like to kiss him or take him home—were hard to swat away.It didn’t help seeing him looking more relaxed and less like he’d just stepped out of a board room.
He picked up his coffee and then joined her, and she tried harder with the swatting.
“This is off the beaten path for you, isn’t it?”he asked.
