What the fuck is she talking about?
“Well, if you’d like to throw a party in the next year, I suggest you let me do my job and you stick to wedding planning, yes?”
“Bite me, you broody bastard,” she huffed as she stormed past me and joined my daughter at the table where she was coloring.
I rubbed my face and walked to the bathroom to tell the guys to stick to the plan.
Even though I highly doubted Violet wouldn’t change her mind again tomorrow.
Chapter Three
Violet
“How about hashtag ‘I like big balls,’” I said a couple of weeks later as Blakely stood at the whiteboard jotting down potential hashtags for the next wedding we were planning.
“Absolutely not. That’s offensive.” Montana rolled her eyes and used her hand to cover her laughter.
Montana and I owned the Blushing Bride, the wedding planning business in town. After we graduated from college, she convinced me to move to this small town with her and start a business together. She grew up in Blushing, Alaska, and she’d been very persuasive about how much fun small-town living would be.
Blakely was our office manager, and the three of us worked really well together.
“Since when are big balls offensive? You don’t mind Clifford’s.”
Clifford Wellhung was the gigantic moose in town who roamed the streets as if it was perfectly normal for a wild beast to cruise around downtown.
“Personally, I find Clifford’s balls offensive, if I’m being honest. The way they just sort of dangle around like big ole melons.” Blakely shrugged. “And I have to side with Monny on this one, Vi. I think referencing his balls in a wedding hashtag could be a questionable choice.”
I laughed. “Well, his last name is Ballsy. It’s shit luck, but you may as well have some fun with it.”
Montana’s jaw fell open, and she gaped at me. “His last name is Balmy, not Ballsy.”
I winced. “Eek. Balmy balls would suck.”
Blakely burst out in hysterical laughter, and Montana and I ended up joining in.
“Speaking of balmy balls, how is it going over at your place with your sexy landlord?” Blakely asked.
I rolled my eyes. “That grumpy bastard is working my last nerve. He’s trying to tell me how to renovate my house. It’s appalling.”
“He’s your contractor. That’s his job.” Montana chuckled. “Just like we tell people how to plan a wedding.”
I thought it over. “Renovating a home is far more personal than a marriage. It’s the place I’m going to live for years to come.”
“Uh, I think a wedding is pretty personal, considering it’s the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.” Blakely was looking at me like I had three heads, and Montana agreed, with that knowing look she liked to give me.
“Listen. I get inspired in the middle of the night sometimes. And he needs to deal with it.” I moved to the whiteboard and took the marker from her. “How about hashtag ‘it’s getting Balmy in here.’ You know, like it’s getting hot in here, but obviously we go with Balmy.”
“I don’t know about that one.” Montana tapped her lips as if she was deep in thought. I popped a few Skittles in my mouth while I waited for more ideas to get thrown out. “Hashtag ‘here come the Balmys.’ Hashtag ‘Balmy, party of two.’”
I wrote them both down, but nothing was blowing us away. And at the Blushing Bride, we liked to be blown away.
“What about hashtag ‘rollin’ with the Balmys.’ Like ‘rollin’ with the homies.’” I chuckled.
“I like that one,” Blakely and Montana said at the same time.
I motioned to an invisible mic in my hand and dropped it on the floor dramatically.
“That’s definitely the leader right now. I’ll run them by Jules and see what she thinks,” Montana said, referencing the future bride, who would most likely not agree to it, since she’d turned down every idea we’d given her thus far.
