I glanced down at my feet, noting that Charlie’s eyes were focused more on my legs than my feet. “Duh. I couldn’t reach the ceiling on the stool, so I needed a few more inches.”
“You could have used a broomstick and avoided balancing on a broken barstool in a pair of deadly heels.”
The only way these heels would be deadly is if I took one off and clobbered you over the head with it.
“I’m not a construction guy, Charles. I think on my feet, or shall I say, I think on my stilettos?” I held up one leg and shook it twice as I chuckled.
“I don’t need a lawsuit from a tenant who isn’t even paying rent,” he hissed.
Was this guy for real? I risked my life turning off his stupid smoke detector, and he’s giving me attitude?
“The only way I’m suing you is if being a dick is suddenly a crime.” I glared at him.
He barked out a laugh, which was almost startling, seeing as the man had no sense of humor.
“I came in here to make sure you didn’t burn the place down, not get a lecture on what a dick I am.”
“I doubt you need a lecture to know what a dick you are,” I said, using my hand to cover my laughter. I walked over to the counter and popped a pizza roll in my mouth and pointed at the pan. “Want one?”
“I’d be too afraid you were going to poison me.” He turned toward the oven and bent down. “Let me check this out for you. I don’t think my cousin cooked much when she stayed out here. She’d eat in the house with me and Harper most nights.”
Charlie had a six-year-old daughter named Harper, and he was raising her on his own. His cousin Jordan had moved out recently, which worked out well for me, as I was in need of temporary housing.
“Well, as you can tell, I’m a real gourmet cook,” I said, my voice light. My gaze moved down his muscled shoulders to where he crouched on his thick thighs as he looked inside the oven like he was trying to figure out life’s biggest mystery.
He stood up and turned to face me. The man had to be a good foot taller than me. “I’m guessing it’s just old. I was planning to renovate this place after she moved out, but then you went and flooded your house, so I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
“Are you insinuating that I flooded my house on purpose?”
“You didn’t turn your water main off when you went out of town.”
This freaking guy.
“I don’t know anyone who turns off their water supply when they go out of town,” I said, my voice coming out much louder than I’d expected it to.
“Everyone I know turns off their water when they travel.” His lips remained in a flat line, as if he was the one who was irritated with me.
“Well, you’re from small-town Alaska, where a local resident is a moose with a giant set of cojones.”
“You got a real thing for dicks and balls, don’t you? Every time I see you, you’re referencing one or the other.” He walked toward the door.
“Calling someone a dick is not really referencing an actual penis. You know that, right?”
He paid me no attention and ignored the comment. “Your tile came in, if you want to stop by your house and check it before they start your primary bathroom renovation tomorrow.”
“Oh. Isn’t it gorgeous?” I’d chosen a beautiful blue Italian tile for the bathroom. Now that I’d been forced to renovate the house, I was going to make it my own.
“I mean, it’s tile.” He made no attempt to hide his sarcasm.
“Spoken like a Neanderthal.” I reached for another pizza roll.
These really are the breakfast of champions.
“I’ll order a new oven. If you need to cook, just come over to the house and use the oven until the new one gets here.”
“Fine.”
“Fine,” he said as he stepped outside. “And let’s not throw things at the ceiling or smash things with a hammer.”
