I laughed loudly. Daniel Kingsley was a good man. A kind man.
“Keep your boots on, please.” I winked before grabbing one more carrot. I was walking out toward the living area when Montana called a 911 in my headset. Blakely was also on the call.
I held one hand over my ear as I walked. “I’m here. What’s up.”
“Uhhhh ... come outside, please. I’m to the left of where the ceremony will be held.”
“Don’t tell me it’s raining,” I said. We needed the weather to cooperate just for the ceremony. In case it rained and we had to make some changes, we had a backup plan to move the guests to another tented area we’d put up. I’d made the judgment call to move the ceremony to the tent, but my sister and her mother had refused the idea.
Velveteen did not want to get married under a tent. She loved the open green space with the water in the distance. I agreed that the outdoor option was prettier, but I also knew that getting soaked in the rain would be a disaster.
“I’m on my way,” Blakely said, and she sounded like she was running.
When I turned the corner, my mouth fell open. Ralph’s brother, Robby Parker, was lying in the grass, passed out and stark naked.
Montana’s eyes were wide as she gaped at me, just as Blakely came jogging up behind me.
“Oh.” I covered my mouth with my hands to keep from laughing.
“‘Oh’? I mean, the man isn’t budging.” Montana threw her hands in the air. “I’ve yelled his name, and I used this stick to poke him a few times.”
“Is he dead?” Blakely asked, just as a loud snore escaped Robby.
“That’s a good sign that he’s still alive,” I said with a laugh.
“I mean, he’s just putting it all out there,” Montana chuckled. “We can’t move him with his—johnson on full display.”
“I’d say that’s a little johnson,” Blakely said, smirking.
I glanced over near the reception tent to see a pile of linen napkins on the cart where they were setting things up. I hurried over and grabbed a napkin before tossing it over Robby’s “little johnson.”
Then I leaned down near his head and shouted in his ear. “Robby Parker, wake your ass up.”
“Ma! Don’t turn the hose on me,” he grumped before one eye opened and he met my angry gaze.
“I’m not your mama, Robby. But it is my sister’s wedding day, and you will wake your naked ass up and go get dressed right now, or I swear I’ll have no problem turning the hose on you.”
Robby sat up, glancing down at the linen napkin on his crotch. He just chuckled like this was perfectly normal. “Ralph told me you’re the fun sister.”
“Well, he should have told you that I’m also the most violent family member, and I’m not afraid to use physical force on you. Get your ass moving, buddy. Guests will be arriving in less than an hour.”
He glanced at each of us, winking awkwardly as he moved to his feet. We all turned our backs to him, even though we’d already seen all there was to see. But it seemed like the right thing to do.
We slowly turned to see a tall, freckled Robby walking toward the main house with his white ass covered in a very large tattoo out on display.
“It’s a full moon tonight,” Blakely whispered. “What the hell did he write on his butt cheek?”
A loud laugh escaped my lips. “Huntington told me that Robby got a tattoo at Ralph’s bachelor party.”
“What does it say?”
“‘Sparkle,’” I said dryly, waiting for them to look at me. “That was the stripper’s name, and our Robby boy fell hard and fast for Sparkle Moonlight that night.”
“Nooooooo,” they both said in unison.
“He said it was love at first sight. And she came back to the hotel with them and spent the night with Robby.”
“Really? And they’re dating now?” Blakely asked.
