So I’m stuck in my digital detox, living in the present, and being ‘mindful’.
It is kinda nice, actually. I spent some time brushing Flap’s fur and just enjoying my time with him instead of also listening to a podcast or watching TV at the same time. It made me notice little things about my new pet, like how he really does look like a bunny, but that his feet have longer fingers and claws. I’m guessing he uses them to hang from branches or rocks.
I wish Kyran was here, so I could ask him about it.
A knock on the door makes me shut the elaborate cage my dark prince had his servants bring in from some far-off corner of the castle. I leave Flap inside as I rise to my feet, ready to see him.
A part of me wants to rush to the bathroom and make sure I’m presentable, but I also don’t want to make him wait.
Seeing Reiner enter with the same wooden chest as yesterday makes me go limp as if I were a balloon with a hole.
“Master Luke, are you well?” Reiner asks, opening the door in the silver bars and passing through it.
“Y-yes,” I mutter. “I just thought Kyran… might have come back. The last day and night were so turbulent…” Understatement of the fucking year. I almost got marriedandmurdered on the same day, then had sex with shadow tentacles. I don’t think even the heroes of the most popular soap operas could rival me in terms of unexpected twists to their lives.
Reiner’s face scrunches, and he drops the handle of the chest, letting it fall to the floor. He collapses in front of me and grabs the edge of my robe. “It is all my fault. Please, forgive me, Master Luke. I swear I had nothing to do with that vile woman’s plan! I was only trying to make sure the wedding goes as planned. It has not, and it’s due to my actions. I don’t even know what would have happened if you died! I would have never forgiven myself.”
I freeze, out of my depth. Most of my life, I couldn’t even afford restaurants with table service, so I don’t have much experience with waiters let aloneservants.
It’s awkwardas fuck.
And I believe him. He’s so into his job, but he’s not a bodyguard.
“It’s… um… I understand you meant well.” But I did almost get killed. “Maybe next time be more wary?”
Reiner hides his face, cowering in front of me as if he’s playing some lowly wretch in a high school play. “I’ve worked here for over two hundred years, and I have never failed so completely. From now on, I shall be a paragon of good service and obedience!” he declares in a shaky voice.
What? Two hundred years? He doesn’t look a day over thirty. But everything falls into place as soon as I take my time to consider it. Those people areelvesafter all.
“Just… do better,” I say, remembering what Marty told me after my latest fuck up at work. Am I, like, the manager now?
I’m mortified when Reiner kisses the tip of my silk slipper, but he’s back up before I can say anything. “I will. The service I shall provide will be unrivaled by anything you’ve ever experienced.”
Clearly, he has no concept of what kind of life I led before Kyran swept me off my feet in the parking lot of Best Burger Bonanza.
I wonder if anyone is searching for me yet.
“I’ve got no doubt. You have two hundred years of experience after all, am I right?” I give a nervous laugh, because he’s about to undress me, and that’s weird. I might have to assert myself once I know how to handle the clothes he brought for me.
“Indeed, Master Luke. Yesterday’s mistake is a stain on my whole career in the service of this royal family, but I hope to stay here and make up for my crime.”
I struggle to keep my face straight. Did I almost die yesterday? Yes. But is the way he speaks hilarious? Also yes.
“So how old are you? Or is that rude to ask?”
Reiner clears his throat. “I’m an experienced two hundred forty-eight years old. The oldest of all the servants at this court,” he says, straightening his reed-thin form. “Every single year in service has been a joy.”
I ponder that as I take off my robe and nightshirt and he hands me a garment reminiscent of… cycling shorts of soft black cotton. I’m assuming it’s their version of underwear.
Every day working in customer service was a pain in the ass for me, so I struggle to understand Reiner’s desire to please.
“You didn’t want to do anything else? For two centuries?”
Reiner shakes his head and turns, opening the chest to reveal a sea of shimmery black fabric. I take this opportunity to quickly put on the boxer shorts-like garment.
“No, this is the perfect place to live and work. Safe.Idon’t have anyone making sure I’m fed and well,” he says, reminding me of the heroic way Kyran saved me yesterday. “There’s always something going on, I get to dress the members of a noble family in the most glamorous outfits, and there are plenty of handsome men to pick from in my time off. What’s not to like?”
I snort, surprised at how candid he’s being. “You have time for men?”
