“Damn...Having feelings for Ms. Independent? Rough.” He takes a sip of his beer and I follow suit.
He’s right. It’s probably the worst idea I ever had. Trying to be casual while developing feelings for the girl that doesn’t do feelings. But I’m too addicted to stop.
Too hooked on the taste of her lips, the sound of her moans, the touch of her skin. Too pulled into her gravity to get the hell out.
“Amazing job,Natalie and Matt. You make a great team.” Kiara praises us after my short debrief of our project during the Monday morning meeting.
My smile is wide, but Natalie bounces her foot, obviously uncomfortable with the notion.
We scheduled a three-day break from the clinic to do some of our regular work. After that, we have two more schools before we shut down the clinic until next year. With the annual BYC gala coming up, soon we won’t have the time for the pop-up clinic. Still, I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to do this.
She avoids me at the office, making excuses to leave every time I enter the room. It’s not hostile, more like she’s anxious around me.
I would rather she hates me again. I would rather see her feisty personality turned against me than to give her any sort of discomfort.
On Thursday, we’re meeting at another school continuing the work at our clinic. We came early to prepare, so I use the time to clear the air.
“What’s going on, Natalie? Am I back on the silent treatment?” I ask her, cautiously.
“Nothing’s going on. I’m acting perfectly professional. It’s you who expects more from me, but trust me when I say you aren’t entitled to my smiles or jokes.” She’s back. I hate the fact she wants nothing more than a professional relationship, but the force of nature I’ve grown to like is back. I can’t help but poke the bear.
“Really? Sorry if I got the wrong impression the last time you were riding my cock in a room not much different from this one.”
She scoffs, fire raging in her eyes.
“I knew it was a mistake.” She pokes a finger at my chest. “I knew you’ll think that just because we fucked a few times, I should giggle and twirl my hair in your vicinity, bending over backwards to get your attention. Not going to happen. So better get used to the professional approach or I could get back to the hostile one in a second.” Snapping her fingers, she shows me how serious she is.
I’m well aware she would never bend over backwards for my attention. I still want to give her all of it.
Lifting my arms in a surrender motion, I try to signal I mean no harm. The only person I truly care about thinking I’m a good guy is the only one who doesn’t think I am one.
She might be right. A part of me really thinks she should give me a chance even though she stated time and time again it’s not what she wants.
Luckily, the first clients arrive, leaving me no time to ruminate in my thoughts. It’s a married couple with a giant stack of medical bills their insurance refuses to cover. By lunchtime, Natalie is gone and comes back a minute before our next client’s appointment.
Not even the happy tears of a single mother I’ve helped find an apartment in one of Connor’s rent-controlled buildings can snap me out of the funk her words put me in.
After the last client of the day, she tries to escape with a quick ‘Goodbye,’ but I catch up to her near her car.
“Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. I have no right to expect anything more than what you’re willing to give. I think we work together well, and I’d like us to be friends, or friendly. That’s it. Nothing more.” She gives me a pointed look. Understandable,given our track record. “And I promise I won’t start up anything else inappropriate between us. I’ll be perfectly professional.” I use her words.
“Really?”
“Yes. Cross my heart and hope to die.” She chuckles at my childlike promise. “If you ever change your mind about it, it will be up to you to make a move.”
“Ok. Friends.” Her relieved smile slices straight through my heart.
“Friends.”
A feeling of calmness floods me on the drive home. Sex with her was the best sex of my life, but having her smile at me seems like an even better deal. And her wishes are as valid as mine, so if she has her reasons for not wanting to explore this further, I won’t force myself using the deadly chemistry we have between us.
“This was a pretty good day,”she concludes, her full lips pulling up into a smirk. It’s the last day of the clinic—for now—and we are placing all the client documents in the folders we brought.
We worked as a team and reveled in the stories of these impressive people we’re hoping to help. Each client leaving with a smile granted a mini celebration between the two of us.
“It was. We should celebrate everything we’ve accomplished these two weeks,” I offer, not sure if she’ll say yes, but she jumps on it right away.
“Sure. I’ll find the closest bar.” She pulls up her phone.
