Valerie’s expression tightened for a moment, and he noticed her fingertips gently pressing her lips, as if remembering.
“It must have been done without my father’s knowledge,” Adrian explained. “But he found out, and when he did, I was ordered to leave the country to fight on the Continent. When I refused, he threatened to kill my mother, and I knew it was not an empty threat. So, I went. I fought. For three years, I fought. I fought until, during my fourth year, I was captured.”
It appeared that Valerie had stopped breathing, her eyes so very wide.
“I escaped eventually, but not without a cost to myself,” he said. “At least half of my scars are from the months of my captivity.My wounds, at that time, were bad enough that I was sent home to England. That is where I discovered that my mother had ended her own life two years prior, unable to endure my father’s abuse anymore, and my father was on the brink of death himself. Incapable of letting her have peace in the hereafter.”
“Oh, Your Grace…” Valerie croaked, brushing something from her cheek.
He shook his head slowly. “I am not the one to be pitied. My mother was the one who deserved sympathy. But no one knew of her pain; all they saw was the happy, cheery version of herself that she presented for their entertainment. At least, that is what they claimed. Either way, no one helped her.”
“Or you,” she pointed out, her voice thick.
“I did not need help,” he replied sharply. “One should never rely on another person. If I have learned anything, it is that. Even my betrothed abandoned me once she saw my scars, and I was glad of it. I withdrew from society. I withdrew because society failed my mother, and society is never to be trusted.”
As he sat there in the ensuing silence, his breathing unsteady, he could not deny that he felt a bit lighter. Not unburdened of his past, but it was as if Valerie had offered to carry some of it for a while, so that he could have a moment to catch his breath.
He looked at Valerie, noting the tear on her cheek that she had not attempted to brush away. She smiled at him sadly, but hecould not bring himself to resent the sympathy in her gaze. From her, it felt sincere, rather than a performance.
Then, she began to move.
Valerie pushed off from the chaise-longue and walked to him, sinking to her knees before him. An echo of what he had done for her when he had found her cowering beside her bed.
“Do not do that,” he said, his voice husky.
She frowned up at him as she took one of his hands in both of hers. “Do what? Comfort you? I am afraid I cannot help it.”
He shook his head slowly. “No, Miss Wightman.” He leaned forward, her pretty eyes widening in surprise. “Do not sink to your knees in front of me. Not unless you understand the risk of what will happen next.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Valerie tried to remember how to breathe as she searched Adrian’s stony face, struggling to read the feeling behind the gleam of his eyes.
Does he mean to punish me? For what? What is so… troublesome about me kneeling?
She cleared her throat, where the tragedy of his story had formed a lump. “For once, Your Grace, allow someone to take care of you,” she said, gently caressing his hand. “I am prepared to accept the risk of offering you comfort.”
Even if he sent her away, she would not go. After all he had done for her, she owed him kindness at the very least.
Hedeservedkindness, considering all he had endured. Not so long ago, she had wondered what could possess someone to remove themselves from society altogether—for a decade no less—but now she understood. Whowouldwant to face society, oranyone, again if they had been so tormented all their lives? Who would want to give up their peace, after all that?
“You have misunderstood,” Adrian said, his voice a low, stirring rumble that made her stomach flutter.
She frowned, utterly confused. “Then what do you mean? What risk do you speak of? What… will happen next?”
Rather than tell her, Adrian showed her.
His hands cradled her face as his lips sought hers in a blazing crush, his kiss hot and fierce and fervent. The shock of it held her frozen for a moment, her mind and body faltering at the sudden burst of passion.
After everything he had just told her, she had not expected anything like this, nor had she meant to provoke him into desire when she kneeled at his feet. Truly, she had just wanted to be close to him to offer comfort, returning a favor.
Oh… but how I have craved this…
Snapping out of her surprise, she looped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal fervor. No hesitation, no uncertainty, just the feverish pursuit of satisfying her desire. She had dreamed of this all through the previous night; how could she possibly resist?
All of a sudden, he was on his knees with her. His hand slipped into her hair, drawing out the stick that she had made to hold her unruly locks up. Wavy golden hair tumbled down, Adrian gently sweeping it back off her shoulders as he kissed her harder.
She grasped his shirt and pulled him closer, unable to get enough and fearful that he might suddenly stand up and leave. She could not match him in strength, of course, but if he tried to depart, she would at least be able to hold onto him long enough to steal one more kiss.
