“The other one?”
“The other ring. I found it, by accident, when I was leaving a gift for you in your suitcase.”
She watched his cheeks flood with color. He straightenedup and looked sheepish. “Oh,thatring.” She waited for an explanation. “That one was for someone else.”
“What?”
“My ex-girlfriend, Elsa, the woman I dated before you. We were supposed to get engaged last Christmas, but we broke up just before we could. I was taking it back to Toronto to return it and get another one for you. Which I did.” He shook the ring box at her. “This one.”
“I... really don’t know what to say.”
“I’m telling you the truth, at least!” he blustered. “I could have lied, the way you have about your past, but I didn’t—because honesty is important. We’re making a fresh start here, aren’t we?”
“But you had a ring for someone else!”
“Which I exchanged for this one, the perfect ring foryou.”
“No.” Anna shook her head. “Not everything can be perfect just because you say it is. I’m not just... a placeholder for you. It feels like you want to marry someone—and so it might as well be me.”
“I want to marry you. Truly. You’re perfect for me.”
“What exactly is it that you love about me? Can you give me one reason why you think we should spend our entire lives together?”
“You’re beautiful, you’re classy. You look great in the clothes I buy you. We’ll have a perfect life, I’ll make sure of it...”
On one hand, Anna was disappointed—in Nick, yes, for his lackluster response, but also in herself for having allowed this charade of a relationship to go on at all. Even six months seemed too long for such a sham. On the other hand, she wasrelieved she had come to these conclusions before she ended up saying yes for the wrong reasons. Forever was a very long time—and she knew she could not spend the rest of her life with Nick.
“I can’t say yes,” she said firmly. “It doesn’t feel right, and I’m sure if you really think about it, it doesn’t feel right to you, either.”
“Please.” He was sounding increasingly desperate now. “Just come back with me. Put the ring on and say we’re engaged. At least long enough for the society pages to take a snap and Elsa to see.”
“For Elsa to see? Don’t you think forcing someone into an engagement just for optics is not the right solution to your problems?”
“Anna, this is just a misunderstanding. Forget I said that.”
“Oh, Nick.” He looked so sad, and she felt a wave of compassion for him. He was confused—and probably still heartbroken over someone he had never allowed himself the time and space to get over. “I care about you, and I know you care about me. We had some good times together. I was going through a hard time in my life when we met—and you made my life so much better, helped me take some steps past my grief over my dad, just by being you. I’ll always appreciate that. But I’m no one’s second choice, and I can’t get engaged to you. Not under these circumstances, and not at all.”
“You’re not my second choice! I never asked Elsa! I never got the chance!”
Anna thought for a long moment and decided to be brutally honest. “Maybe the truth is you’d be my second choice if I said yes. I met someone this week. It’s not the right timingand is unlikely to work—but it felt so easy, with this person. So natural. If nothing else, it made me realize what’s possible. The kind of relationship I want, that I deserve. One day. When I’m ready. I’ve made my decision. And I wish you all the best. That’s all I can say. Goodbye, Nick.”
Nick said nothing. He crammed the ring back in his pocket and stormed out the door, slamming it hard behind him. Anna wasn’t sorry to see him go—even if it meant she was standing all alone in the darkness.
SIXTEEN
Maryam
December 24
Maryam burst out of the theater, Anna’s words to Nick chasing her:It’s not the right timing... but it felt so easy, with this person. If nothing else, it made me realize what’s possible. The kind of relationship that I deserve.Anna had been describing her feelings for Josh, but they aligned so closely with what Maryam felt for Saif, her breath had stopped. Not wanting to add to the drama in the playhouse, she had slipped out, coming to a stop in front of a bench piled high with snow. She collapsed, and the frozen powder cooled her instantly, her long jacket insulating her from the wet.
So much snow surrounding them, everywhere, all at once. She was suddenly sick of this frozen precipitation that refused to budge. Didn’t the weather understand howinconvenientit was? Snow, snow, everywhere, and nowhere to go, nothing to do, except think and feel, worry and fight.
Maryam stared up at the sky, blinking against the brilliant blue, and quietly resented the crisp, fresh Canadian air.
She heard a loud slam, and then a furious Nick stormed down the steps of the playhouse, his face comically thunderous. So Anna had made her choice—good for her. That was one problem solved, at least.
Snow crunched underfoot, and Maryam spotted Saif making his way toward her. She sprang to her feet, the urge to run away overwhelming, but he stopped her with a single query.
