“A holiday flirtation,” Maryam said, her voice sharper than she intended. “Though I wonder what your girlfriend would think about you propositioning another woman while you’re stuck in Snow Falls.” The words slipped out so easily, Maryam realized she had wanted to know—badly—all this time.
Saif’s eyes widened, and she noted that his neutral mask had vanished entirely. “What are you talking about?”
He hadn’t denied it, she noted with a simmering anger. Maryam started to pace the porch. “You think just because you overheard my deepest secrets on the plane that you know me. But how can you? We haven’t spoken in five years. We barely spoke even when we saw each other regularly. You didn’t tell me about your girlfriend, you’re way too charming—”
“Maryam, stop,” Saif said, his voice clipped, and she stopped her pacing to glance at him. There was an anger in his eyes that she had never seen before, and a deep well of hurt.I put that there, Maryam thought. Then:Maybe now he’ll see what sort of person I am. The kind that burns down any relationship I’m part of.
As if confirming her thoughts, Saif’s next words stopped her short. “Don’t blame me for your past.”
“What do you mean?” she asked. Blood roared in her veins now. “You’ve been pestering me since we landed, talking about that winter cottage trip we took with our parents, encouraging me to write, but I see you for who you are, Saif. A charmer. An opportunist, an—”
“Enough,” Saif said quietly. He was standing, and now he took one step back, his retreat leaving her cold. Maryam stared defiantly into his dark eyes. How could she have ever thought of them as unfathomable? There were depths there, but she couldn’t trust him. He spoke with difficulty. “It’s not fair, whathappened to you. I’m sorry your ex-husband was a jerk. I’m sorry he cheated on you.”
She flinched. Of course Saif had known the truth about her past; everyone in her community knew. Her failure was writ large for all to see, judge, and hold up as an example to others. Even her own mother thought her an embarrassment. Hadn’t she said as much at themehndi? Shame clawed at her throat.
Saif wasn’t done. “But I’m not him. I’m not Yusuf. I said I know who you are because I’ve been watching you since we landed. You’re strong and funny. Beautiful and generous. Even when everything is going wrong, you somehow manage to perform miracles. You think of everyone but yourself. So, I know you, Maryam Aziz. I also know you’re scared, and it’s that fear that’s driving you to push me away.”
Maryam stared at her feet, encased in her sensible boots and wool socks. She didn’t want to hear Saif’s words. He was right, but hearing it all out loud made her itchy, as if new skin had grown on top of old scars, and she wasn’t used to their new texture.
Saif wasn’t done. “You’ve made yourself smaller to fit into how you think your family wants you to be, but you’re wrong. They love you and support you. Don’t blame everyone else for being trapped. You hold the key, Maryam.” His eyes never left hers, and every word he spoke was the simple, unvarnished truth. “Maybe this feels fast for you, but I’ve learned to go after what I want. And I want you.” He paused, breathing hard. “And I don’t have a girlfriend. You of all people should know better than to believe idle gossip.”
Maryam turned to stare at the giant evergreen in the yard;behind her, the door to the inn closed softly after Saif, and then she was alone on the porch. As she watched, a pile of snow gracefully fell from the lower branches, and the tree swayed as if in relief.Lucky tree, Maryam thought. Then she sat on the bench and cried.
THIRTEEN
Anna
December 23
Anna was in her room, staring out her window at the now lazily falling flakes drifting outside. Contrary to the weather report, the snow hadn’t stopped that day—but the blizzard’s end was getting close, Anna could feel it. If she were in Toronto right now, she’d be having an intimate preholiday dinner with Nick’s father’s closest business associates before heading to the opera. But Toronto felt like it was in another universe, not just a short plane ride away. She was so lost in her thoughts she almost didn’t register the light tapping at her door.
It was Josh, holding a white box tied with twine. She couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked in his jeans and a white T-shirt that was just fitted enough to reveal his toned chest and abs, with sleeves that strained slightly over his biceps. She had been trying so hard not to think of him as she attempted to reconcile in her mind the reality that he and Tenisha were probably very much a thing, not just a rumor—but now here he was at her door. All her reason and rationalesflew right out the window and into the snowy night. “Hi, there,” she said.
“I brought you a nighttime snack,” he said, holding up the box.
“If those aren’t pineapple upside-down rugelach, I’m closing the door.” She was trying to be flippant, but could hear her heart beating in her ears.Boom, boom, boom.
“Of course it’s the rugelach,” he said with a smile. “Can I come in?”
She stood aside.
“I’m going to need to go into the bakery and ask for the recipe. I’ll be a hit at every holiday party for the rest of my life.”
“Oh, I’ve tried. Family secret, and Ginger is not giving it up—not even to me, with my many charms.” He waggled his eyebrows, and Anna couldn’t help but laugh.
“Well, youarevery charming, you know,” Anna said.
“It’s all an act,” Josh replied. He was joking, but Anna still felt a pang and her laughter fell silent.
“So,” he said, tilting his head and looking into her eyes. “I’m not just here bearing treats. We never did light the menorah together. And we promised Kate from the store we would...”
“Oh, right,” Anna said, as if she had completely forgotten about it. She felt a surge of joy that he had remembered.Slow down, Anna.She reminded herself that he was possibly deep in a relationship with Tenisha Barlowe. Whereas she had just broken things off with Nick. Her life was in disarray—and the complications of someone like Josh Tannenbaum, or Chase Taylor, or whoever he was, were not needed. She was trying tode-crease her worries, notin-crease them.
“Anna, are you okay?”
She’d been standing in front of him in silence for an awkwardly long time while her thoughts swirled like the wind outside.
“We should do it,” Anna blurted. “I mean, notit.” Her cheeks immediately flamed with embarrassment. “We shouldlightit. The menorah. Together. In here. Right now.”
