“Sour cream or applesauce?” Anna asked.
“That’smysecret,” Josh said before ducking his head and whispering, “ranch dressing.”
Anna gasped.
“And hot sauce.”
“Scandalous! What does the rest of your family think of that?”
“I’m an only child, so the best part of the holidays for me was always my huge gang of cousins coming to stay. We’d build these huge forts in our attic, and our parents let us sleep up there. Such great memories...”
As he told his story, Anna marveled at how easy it was for them to talk. It felt like they’d known each other forever.
“So,” he said to her. “What wasyourfavorite part of celebrating Hanukkah? And how does it feel being in the most Christmassy town on the planet at this time of year?”
Anna smiled. “At my house, we had the best of both worlds.Latkesandchocolate cakes shaped like Yule logs. Brisketandturkey. RugelachandChristmas cookies. I’m an only child, too, by the way. One year, I insisted on both a Christmas tree and a Hanukkah bush—so my dad and I found the last garden center with any bushes left, and we put a potted bush in the middle of our living room.” Josh laughed. “It just felt so special. Like anything was possible. It was the best time of year. I miss it,” she admitted. “It’s especially poignant this year with Christmas and Hanukkah falling at the same time. That’s why I was buying this. I saw it, and it reminded me of old times.”
“Haven’t been home for a while?”
Anna had been looking down at the menorah but now she looked up at him. “Home doesn’t really exist anymore. My dad passed away a couple years ago and everything changed after that.” She suddenly felt stricken. It had just been a few sentences and yet she’d unloaded a lot. She couldn’t look up at him. “Apologies for the overshare.”
“It’s not oversharing—I asked. And... Well, I know it’s not the same, but my zayde died last year. We were really close. It’s been hard. So, I’m sorry for your loss, Anna. I really am. I don’t like to see you looking so sad.”
“Thanks,” she said, trying to smile so he wouldn’t feel sorry for her. “That must make it even harder for you, that you aren’t home for the holidays this year when your family has lost someone.”
“My mom wouldn’t dream of me missing work for anything, and never makes me feel guilty. But—” He stopped talking and swallowed hard. All at once she wanted to reach out to him, offer an embrace, a shoulder to cry on—except he wasn’t reallyJosh Tannenbaum, not in the real world. He was the movie star Chase Taylor, and one could not just randomly hug Chase Taylor. Still, Anna reached forward and touched his arm.
“Josh,” she said in a low voice, “it’s hard to lose anyone. And firsts are always painful. Like the first Hanukkah, which you’re going through now. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. My dad always used to say,A day of sorrow is longer than a month of joy.And it’s true, right? It’s okay to let yourself feel it.”
He nodded. “As usual, you are correct, Yoda.”
“I told you, I’m not the wise one, my dad was.”
He didn’t say anything, just looked at her intently—as she felt her cheeks start to grow warm under his gaze. “I guess I was hoping working through it would make it go away, you know? But it’s still there.”
She nodded. “Always. Like you’re carrying around...”
He finished the sentence for her. “Rocks in your chest.” He pointed to the base of his sternum. “Right here.”
It was a sad topic, but she still laughed with surprise. “Exactly! Right there. But maybe that’s okay, you know? If you had a fantastic zayde, then it’s going to hurt. That’s what I tell myself. My dad was the best, too. I know I wouldn’t miss him so much if he hadn’t been so wonderful. That’s a gift, as painful as it is.” It was the first time Anna had been able to speak about her father like this to anyone. Josh held her gaze, and she suddenly felt like he was holding her, too—holding, for just a moment, the grief she had been carrying alone for so long. She couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to be in his arms again, the way she’d been the night they’d met, when he had held her close and carried her through the snow.
“Anna, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” Josh began. But just then, a cuckoo clock behind them began its demented chirp and he stepped back. “We’re late,” he said. “You’re coming to set, right?”
“Definitely,” Anna said. “But I’d better pay for this first...” She looked around, searching for a clear path out of there.
“Kate!” Josh shouted. “We’re still in front of theVenus de Milo, to the left of the grandfather clock and in front of the brass goblins and...” His brow furrowed. “Are those... pewter statuettes of NSYNC?”
“They most certainly are! But they’re on hold for someone. Take the menorah with you, though! It’s yours. Holiday gift from me. Except—” Kate popped her head out from behind theVenus de Milo, her hair inexplicably covered in red and green and white feathers, some of which were still raining down around her from some unseen source. “There’s one condition. You can’t just let it sit. That is a menorah that’s meant to be lit—so make good use of it. Better yet, light it together. Happy holidays!” She produced a brown paper bag and some blue and silver tissue paper as if from out of nowhere, tucked the menorah inside, nestled it in the tissue paper. “Oh, and you’ll need these.” She rummaged around on a shelf and unearthed a box of candles for the menorah. “There you are, all set,” she said, and sent them on their way.
“You know,” Anna said as they walked together through the falling snow, “that’s the third gift I’ve been given since I got here.”
“That’s right. Sam and Hope at Don’t Sweater It gave you that toque—and it looks very cute on you,” Josh said, winking at her before lifting the hood of his parka to protect himselffrom the still falling snow. “I’m jealous. Think I’d look good in two pom-poms?”
“I think you’d look good in anything,” Anna said, then felt mortified that she’d actually said that.
“You said three gifts,” he prompted. “The menorah and candles, the hat, and what else?”
“Oh—er, some perfume,” Anna said, not about to tell him she was wearing a love potion.
