Chapter One
StanleyP
Happy five month pod-iversary!
According to inaccuratestatistics.com, most podcasts don’t make it past month four, so you’ve beat the odds! I’d send you flowers, but that would imply I knew your name, mailing address, and flower preference, and that would cause my bot senses to melt into a confused puddle.
AnaBGR
That might be amusing. Okay, my real name is...
StanleyP
Wait. What? Seriously?
AnaBGR
Psych. Psych psych psych!
StanleyP
So cruel, when I’m trying to congratulate you. Any news on the mysterious dream-job interview?
AnaBGR
No news is good news, right?
StanleyP
Definitely. Especially when you’re going after the highly specialized job of... unicorn wrangler? toddler exorcist? erotic knitter?
AnaBGR
An erotic knitter can’t possibly be a thing.
StanleyP
You’re saying you’re definitely NOT a paper-folding priestess.
AnaBGR
That’s as likely as anyone under the age of 40 actually being named Stanley.
StanleyP
I’ve offered to reveal my true identity. Aren’t you a little curious about the incredibly hot, accomplished, muscular man behind StanleyP?
Was I curious about StanleyP? He had no idea.
I was in the corner booth of Three Sisters Biryani Poutine, the restaurant my family owned and ran in the heart of the Golden Crescent neighbourhood, in the east end of Toronto. I was supposed to be cleaning in anticipation of customers, but instead I was texting StanleyP, my very first and most loyal listener.
Over the past five months, we had moved from polite commenter and podcaster to friendly acquaintances to genuine friends who texted every day. All without exchanging a single personal detail. Yet when I closed my eyes, I could imagine his smile. It would be shy, tentative. He would be kind—a thinker and listener, with a mischievous glint in his eye. I knew I would love his laugh.
The phone pinged in my hand. I looked down at the direct messaging app we had started using a few months after he first began commenting on my podcast.
StanleyP
I think you might be the person who knows me best in the world right now. And I don’t even know your real name.
