You can’t save anyone.
I crumbled to the floor. My mouth opened in a scream I didn’t know I was capable of. It ripped through the air, raw and desperate. My back arched at the same time that I crumbled back to the ground. The pain dug in, deep and merciless, dragging me into the depths of despair like barbed wire through my veins.
Distantly, I heard someone shouting my name.
You are a failure.
I screamed again, louder this time, like maybe if I screamed hard enough, I could tear the pain out by force. But, it stayed. Itburned.It hadnestedin me. Itlingered.
No, not lingered.
Ithaunted.
Your dad was right. You are a fucking disappointment.
It detonated inside of me.
You deserve this.
Everything was wrong.
You lost the best thing that ever happened to you.
Everything was broken.
Now, you will suffer.
Because if I was in this much pain?—
Suffer.
It meant Byrd was?—
Suffer.
Oh, Byrd.
My Byrdie,mi vida, how I’ve failed you.
“Someone help! Something is wrong! Quinn is bleeding!” I heard Nat say next to me. I hadn’t realized that I had closed my eyes. It didn’t come as a surprise, given the anguish I felt. Nat’s voice crumbled as she said more to herself than out loud to the others. “I’ve never seen her like this…”
Simone rushed over to my side, her eyes impossibly wider than they were before. “Bleeding? How? From what?”
Cole reached down, pulling up my pant leg. Quickly, he unholstered Tina and used her sharp blade to cut slits in my pants legs. I did my best not to writhe while he sliced, but the pain made it almost impossible. I couldn’t hold back my screams from the burning coursing through me. I couldn’t lift my head to look for myself, so I only had his reaction to go by. As he pulled back the fabric from my skin, I hadn’t even realized how wet they were with what I could only presume was blood. His brow furrowed. I watched his confusion deepen as he lifted my shirt to see where the blood was coming from there. “There’s no wound.”
“H-how is that possible? How can there be nothing, and she’s still in pain?” Cody asked.
“How would she have been wounded in the first place? She was an apparition—” Maisie started to question.
“Yes, she was a spirit…” Izzy groaned from across the circle. “But, she was so connected to Byrd. Without her body, Quinn’s soul was laid bare and connected directly via their bond. In that state, someone shooting Byrd wouldn’t just damage Byrd’s body but Quinn’s very soul. That’s why there’s no wound.”
I could hear Izzy stir, not too far away from me. Rhois cried out. “Izzy! Wait! You are still recovering! Journee, you too!”
“Puppy, it’s okay,” Journee reassured. “With both of us, we won’t use as much magic. We’ll be fine.”
They came into view before me, kneeling on either side of me. I could still see the ghosts of blood under their noses from before. Dark bags were present under both of their eyes as if they hadn’t gotten any sleep in days. They were both clearly running on fumes, barely holding themselves together, but the determination in their eyes was crystalline. It cut through the haze in my vision and offered me some steel for what was to come.
Izzy and Journee reached their hands above either side of my chest. Their hands trembled slightly, fingers stained with their own dried blood from wiping their noses. Blue and orange-yellow magic sparked under their fingertips and open palms, too faint, too strained for a moment, but still present. The glittery dust sprinkled onto my chest, warming it slightly.
