Every scream.
Every second I tried to scream back.
It felt as real as her too-bright smile, her scent of copper and fake roses, her condescending sneer down to me.
It was real enough to break me.
Then, when she had her fill, she would leave me here tositwith it all, to wonder which was worse: the pain she caused or the pain she left me with.
I was alone.
Shackled.
Bleeding.
Breaking.
Crying.
Waiting.
Aching.
Tired.
I was so very tired.
I was tired of the pain. I was tired of missing home. I was tired of wishing. I was tired of being unsure how much longer I could go on like this.
I missed Quinn. I missed her so much that it felt like a sickness that I would never recover from. Her voice. Her laugh. Her touch. The way she always knew how to calm me down during a spiral. The way she always knew how to save me when I didn’t know I needed to be rescued. The way we fit perfectly together, like how it was supposed to be, always.
Quinn… Oh, my Starlight, my pumpkin, my queen…
I leaned my head back against the headrest of the chair and closed my eyes. I reached for her in the darkness behind my lids as I always did when I needed to get away from this cellar, to find something to hold onto. My Quinn. TherealQuinn. Not the dark, poisoned version Lilah conjured, but the Quinn who always smelled like a bonfire on a chilly day, sweet chocolate after a long day at work, and the air after someone had peeled some oranges for a snack. I longed for the Quinn whose smolderlit me up from my head to my toes, who loved a dad joke as much as she liked to dress like one, who ruffled her curls when she was thinking or nervous.
“I know, mi tesoro. Once this is over, I plan on kissing you until you can only think of me. And I don’t care if your friends heard that.”
The night after Zaria attacked us on Daylily Isle… That’s right, she had called me…
“In all seriousness, promise me you will come back to me?”
“I promise, baby girl.”
“I love you too much.”
“And I love you back.”
The call had ended then, but I still remembered that gnawing feeling. I was so scared for her, for our future. I had no idea what was going to happen.
Oh, Quinn. I know you can’t feel me right now since I can’t feel you. I hope you are doing better than I am. I need you, Starlight. I need to return to you. I just don’t know how. Or, if I can. Or, if I ever will. Regardless, please know that I love?—
Suddenly, I heard the cellar’s door scrape quickly against the cement floor. The air seemed to shift with the arrival of someone, but it didn’t feel like Lilah. It was noticeably lighter, brighter. Plus, that wasn’t how Lilah usually entered. She always opened the door slowly, loving to torture me with the horrid noise. This person had a great sense of urgency. My eyes slammed open, and my head lifted to look toward the door.
If it wasn’t Lilah, then who could it be?
It wasn’t long before she stepped through.
My breath caught in my throat so fast it made me dizzy.
