“I hated the idea of being a huntress because it meant becoming anything likeyou,” I sneered, my voice shaking with rage like a dam about to give way. “That’s thelastthing I ever wanted. You were too much of a failure of a husband and father for me to ever want to follow in your footsteps.”
“Afailure?! Me?¡No me chingues!”Don’t fuck with me! Dripping with venom, his laughter was slow, menacing, and cruel. “See, this has always been your problem,mija. I raised you to be a huntress I could pass my legacy down to. I built this whole family, thisempire, from nothing. The only thing your grandmother had was her name. What you call a failure, I made into something not only profitable but self-sustaining. I made it something to be proud of. I made it to pass on to you.”
He stepped closer, his shadow swallowing mine. Father’s presence became even more oppressive in an instant as he started circling me like a lion searching for a weak spot.“You were meant to be the perfect huntress: ruthless, cunning, ambitious, swift, proud, and relentless. But, you have always been apanochaand a stupid one at that. I should have known better. You have always been weak.Soft. You never wanted to do the hard work. You never wanted to be a killer. You never wanted to be great. You were always tooscared. That isn’tmyfailure. It’syours.”
My hands clenched so tightly that my nails pierced my palms with four crescent moons that healed before they could allow blood to drip. “I did my fucking job?—”
“You have never killed a dragon.”
“That’s not all a huntress does?—”
“That’s what thisfamilydoes?—”
“We kill and desecrate the dead?”
“We are warriors ridding the world of monsters?—”
“Are fledgling dragon-shifters monsters to you, Father? How many did that young dragon-shifter kill before you mounted them to your wall?”
“Why don’t you ask how manyhuntersthey killed to end up there?”
“Afucking fledgling, Father? Oh, yeah, I bet they committed arealmassacre,” I scoffed, the sarcasm thick in my voice. My stomach rolled, bile bubbling up the back of my throat. “Are you that far gone, Father? Have you really forgotten the code to such a degree?—?”
“The code means nothing if monsters are allowed to run free because of it?—”
“Hunters hunt those who hunt innocents!” I stepped toward him this time, my chest heaving. “We kill those who have killed before. We protect those who can’t protect themselves. We do this work for thebettermentof the whole world, human and supernatural, like the knights of old we were modelled after. We donottake trophies because there is no dignity in their deaththat way. We don’t take pride in theactof killing. There’s no honor in a slaughter. We still respect the deceased. That is how we are trained. We arenotsome bounty hunters eager for glory. We are better than that. Weshouldbe better than that. No,youdidn’t doyourjob, Father. You became amonster, the very thing that we were built to take down.”
My father’s eyes narrowed until the dark of his irises swallowed the reddish brown. The hardwood creaked as he drew nearer, as if it too couldn’t bear the weight of his intimidation. When he spoke, his voice carried that heavy, contradictory calm that made me tense in fear of what followed it. “So. What now? Are you challenging me,mija?”
I fucking wish?—
You arenotto challenge him. I say that not as your mother. That is adirect orderfrom your acting Huntscommander.
Mama’s command slammed down on me. My spine locked in place with a rigidity that was close to painful. Mama’s words and voice pressed on me like gravity, wanting to squeeze any thought of disobeying her from me. It robbed me of my breath as fast as Father’s presence. My vision swam. But, I didn’t blink. I didn’t flinch. I didn’t suck in a breath through my teeth at the sudden hefty iron chain pulling at my skull. No, in spite of the bullshit my father had said, Iwasa huntress, so I used everything in me to keep the sudden stiffness and tension in my body to a subtle minimum that no one except for me and Byrd through our bond could perceive. If it had been anyone else, they likely wouldn’t have seen a thing. But I wasn’t dealing withanyone. My father was a predator with eyes refined to find any possible weakness to pounce on.
Of course, thiscabronnoticed.
My father tilted his head slightly as he stared down at me. “You want to challenge me, but you can’t, now can you?”
Before I could open my mouth to deliver a snide remark, he smiled slowly. “Ah. You are listening to your mommy again, huh? You did always love to do as Mommy told you.”
“Really? Are you that much of a manchild? Using this tired ass bullshit?” I rolled my eyes hard enough to almost hurt.
The exhaustion hit me all at once then, making my shoulders sag. It had been almost two decades of this. It was as tired as I was. I was so over it. I was so tired of these games. I was so tired ofhim.
“You know something, Father?” I said, measuredly. “I was eager once to lead this family, to take your place and dogoodwork. I don’t actually hate being a huntress. I love taking out predators who harm prey that can’t defend themselves. I love using my daggers to take out actual monsters. I’m really fucking good at this shit. IknowI am. When I was a kid, I always wanted to prove that to you. Every training. Every assignment. Everything I did, I just wanted to impress you. I wanted you to be proud of me. Daddy issues are a bitch, huh?”
I shook my head, my eyes never leaving him, even as they stung with tears I didn’t dare shed. “I thought you wanted me to join you in hunting dragons because you saw how good I was at hunting. I thought you wanted me on your team. But… when we lost Uncle Harry, I realized that you didn’t give two fucks about me. You only wanted another soldier to sacrifice so you could get the kill to brag about.”
The room felt smaller now, honing in on just me and my father in this moment. My throat constricted, but I forced myself to continue. “I have fucked up. Hurt beyond what was necessary. Gone too far. I own that. I owneverymistake. There’s shit that I will never be able to tell Byrd that I have done because I don’t want to remember it, let alone voice it aloud. But I use that remorse to do better, to be the best for her, and toprotecther.That is what makes us different because that was something I never saw you do.”
“That’s a cute little speech,mija. I was very moved.” My father said with a bored, blank look on his face.
Fuck, I hated this psychopathic piece of literal shit.
“Do you regret anything you’ve done, Father?” I asked, point-blank.
He didn’t hesitate. “Regrets? For doing myjob? No, I wouldn’t change a fucking thing. Feelings get in the way. Clearly, this is a lesson that you still need to learn. How about I remind you?”
