“I remember the very last time we talked.” Sire Kaya’s eyes grew distant. “She wasalwaysso worried about you and howyou were going to get along after. We mourned ourselves so long ago, probably around her diagnosis, when we knew all of the doctors, specialists, witches, and witch-faes said there was no escaping the inevitable. She and I grieved that we would never have the wedding we wanted. No arguments about possibly fostering or adopting more kids. No romantic flights as dragons. No late nights on rooftops sipping cocktails while watching the moon rise. But, you? We talked about your future every night until the very end.”
A relationship?! My grandmother was in a SAPPHIC relationship with the Sire of her enchantment?!My jaw was on the floor, and I would need construction equipment to pull it back up. I knew I had to have more family members who were in the LGBTQIA+ community. I knew me, Uncle Everett, and Aunt Max couldn’t be the only ones. But, I never would have guessed that mygrandmotherwas the source of my lesbianism. I would have guessed someone on Pops’s side first. That wasn’t to say that my mother’s side was homophobic, but Pops’ side had more numbers and options to consider.
While I was reeling from the news, Mom was frozen yet shaking all at once, having a crash of her own. Her eyes were wide like there was a freight train headed straight for her. I wished Mom—the version I knew—was here to talk about her thoughts and feelings in this moment. Instead, young Mom just stared at the cups with lemon juice and honey already poured in. I knew the kettle would be ready soon, steam already clouding from its lid and an imperceptible whistle starting to build.
The room fell into a waiting silence. The lemons tried and failed to float to the top of the honey with the tea bag and spoon holding it down. Mom refused to take her eyes off it. Her discomfort and stress were palpable.
“So, what now, Doe, my dear?”
The kettle whistled at last. Mom got it before it reached a fever pitch. She poured water into the waiting mugs, filling them to the top. Mom set the kitchen timer for steeping time for the teas, but she passed Sire Kaya hers. Once Sire Kaya took it, Mom locked eyes with her, obsidian meeting dark brown topaz.
Finally, Mom said. “I can’t leave any more than I stay.”
“This house, this place,” Sire Kaya gestured around them. “There’s nothing left for you here.”
“You’rehere.”
Sire Kaya chuckled humorlessly. “I’m old, dear. I’ll be meeting Sadie soon.”
“Don’t talk like that! What about the enchantment? All these dragonborn? They need you!”
“Darling Doe,” Sire Kaya shook her head. Suddenly, exhaustion and the weight of years gone by settled onto her shoulders. The weariness there reminded me so much of how Pops looked after Mom was murdered. As if he had been hollowed out and forced to go on as just a husk. “I’m flattered by your admiration, but Sadie was my fated mate. I’m not long for this world and will be joining Sadie soon. I’m already more of a ghost than I am a person, and I can feel myself fading. This enchantment is dying, too. That’s why all the old dragon-shifters are getting sick. The land is sick, the very magic of our horde is wearing away, and we old ones are connected to both like the trees and the grass. Our powers are all intertwined, and one cannot be ended without taking the other. Like nature, this land and her flowers may die, but her seeds will spread elsewhere to thrive. You are among the few young ones left, and the others are leaving to prosper elsewhere.”
Sire Kaya squeezed her hand. “But, for you, life has only begun. There’s so much for you outside of this, so much world you’ve yet to see, and so many dreams yet to be lived. You havepotential for so much more than this place. I would not be able to pass on without knowing that you have moved on.”
Mom crossed her arms and shook her head stubbornly. “There’s nothing great about me without her or you.”
“Now, you listen here, Eleanora Doriana Pierce,” Mom flinched at the use of her full name. For the first time since coming inside, Sire Kaya frowned. “You are greatbecauseof her. She poured her whole soul into you, and I poured my heart into you both to support and love you as much as I could. I know that if Sadie could do it all over, she wouldn’t have had things any other way, and I feel the same way.”
It was too easy to hear my mother, the woman this girl would become, echo in those words. Mom’s shoulders sagged, and she shook her head more to herself than anyone else. She wanted to deny, wanted to keep fighting, but her resolve was wearing down. “Isn’t the world out there no place for a lone dragon? It’s like an omega wolf on their own.”
“You are a dragon-shifter. We thrive alongside other dragonborn and in enchantments just as much as we thrive alone, especially when we are smart enough to hide and blend among humans. Especially with the help of a good fitch. Dragons have survived this long because of our powers, resourcefulness, and instincts. Rest your understanding on that, and everything will work itself out. I have known you since you were a baby fledgling, Doe. You are smart. You are strong. Stronger than you know or believe. Trust me.”
Mom’s eyes glistened with tears then. Sire Kaya reached over the table with her long arms and pulled Mom’s head close to hers so their foreheads met. The Sire continued. “You, Doe, are your mother’s wildest dreams. Even more so, you are yourself, and you deserve to be happy and to do what it takes to make that happen. For me, for your mother, and for yourself, go out and find your happiness.”
Mom nodded, softly against Kay’s forehead.
“Good girl,” Sire Kaya kissed her forehead lovingly.
Mom wiped at her stray tears, but they were building, falling faster than her hands could wipe them away. One of her hands clung to her shaking shoulder as she sobbed. The tips of her claw in that hand went through the fabric and into her skin, drawing blood. It was like she was trying to hold herself together as much as possible, but the cracks were widening from the stress. I knew that feeling all too well, but it was different seeing it in someone else. Especially my mother when she was so young. Especially when the circumstances were so similar to my own. Our trauma was like when two mirrors are in front of each other, echoing and stretching into a darkness that went for generations.
A deep bell thundered outside, reverberating throughout the house and even resounding through my chest. It cut through the moment, marking a turn you could feel in the air. Sire Kaya stood from her chair. Her wings flexed behind her, lightly sweeping the floor and making the kitchen feel even smaller.
“So. This is it then,” she said, walking toward the front door. Her lips flattened into thin line, and the command authority of the Sire’s nature came off her in waves that made my dragon stand at attention. The gravity of the moment settled heavy enough to make my breathing hitch. As the bell finished tolling, she opened the door. “Are you ready, darling Doe?”
Mom put her arms down by her side. She sent her shoulders back, her spine going rigid and straight. Her golden wings flared out, standing higher and prouder than before when they were tucked behind her. Mom held her chin high. While her face sombered, the vulnerability in her eyes remained among the fire burning there. I caught a glimpse then of the woman my mom would become, the one who would raise me, love me, and die for me. I saw the determination, strength, intelligence, pride, and lack of fear in the face of a world that thought the mightiest werethose who hid their emotions. Tears still fell from her eyes, but there was something beautiful and powerful about them. With the sunlight behind her and the wind pushing her hair back, she looked like an award-winning album cover or a brilliant painting that belonged in a museum. Her vulnerability had a reverence to it, her grief so profound it was sacred. Transformed, Mom nodded softly to Sire Kaya and walked outside.
The day was as bright, sunny, and dazzling outside as it was from the previews we got inside. Mom’s house was just one of many houses in a mountainside village. Others of similar or greater size were close enough that folks could pass cups of sugar to one another or gossip without using a phone. It was like something from a postcard or an old-timey sitcom. Brilliant as a glossy photograph, the mountainside was in full, vibrant color: dark evergreens in the grass and leaves, serene blues of the skies and nearby lake, stark browns of the bark and cabins around, and soft whites of the few clouds in the sky. A place like this was supposed to be bustling with activity. Yet, it was silent. No birds were chirping. Not even the trees, their branches, or their leaves were rustling. The stillness was as suffocating as the humidity and smell of rain from the night before. A misty fog hung above the ground, making the weather seem indecisive and unsure.
Before us stood a small crowd of dragon-shifters. Everyone was dressed in the same shade of dark blue as Mom and Sire Kaya. Their feet were bare. Their wings draped behind them and tails encircling around their waists were in all different shades of the rainbow, with some having splashes of color and others mixing the colors in a swirl. Their horns came in all kinds of styles and curls, too, from straight points to thick twisting ram-like adornments. Even the children in attendance—wingless and lacking tails since they hadn’t manifested yet—were dressed appropriately, clinging to their mothers and fathers. They werequiet and astonishingly still, somehow able to sense the tone of the day.
Mom nodded softly to the crowd before stepping forward. Her blue dress trailed behind her like a train. Sire Kaya walked in step with her, the two walking down the middle of the crowd. I didn’t realize I was barefoot and wearing a similar navy dress to the rest of the crowd until my feet sank into the fresh mud. A shiver coursed through me, but it wasn’t from the wet dirt. The sensation reminded me of the enchantment in Chicago, but it wasn’t quite that either. This tingle was softer, not enough to raise my scales. Instead, it brought a strange feeling over me that stopped me in my tracks. It was an eeriness that made my heartbeat quicken and stomach sink with an impending dread. It was a warning, a prophecy. There was something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what and couldn’t foresee what the cause could be.
This enchantment isn’t strong. It’s withering away,my dragon thought mournfully, whimpering and tucking her wings. I wanted to question her about what she meant, but Mom and the Sire were already close to the end of the crowd and everyone else was beginning to fall in line behind them. I shook off the feeling and hurried to catch up to the front.
The site for the ceremony wasn’t too far away, just a short walk along a trail and up a hill to a cliffside, offering even more picturesque views. The cliff’s edge overlooked the mountains, valleys, rivers, waterfalls, forests, meadows, and more of the enchantment’s offerings on its extensive stretch of land. There wasn’t an oil painter or photographer alive or dead, human or supernatural, that could have truly captured its majesty. I understood fully why this place was chosen as the home for the enchantment. Gods, to stretch my wings and fly overhead. I bet it was breathtaking. I could easily see admiring the views for hours after your wings grew tired without ever longing to land. Iwished so greatly that that was why we were here, that that was how this dream ended.
But, instead of only green grass before us, blue flower petals made an aisle leading toher.
