I hadn’t heard from him since I’d stormed out. I’d wondered if he felt guilty about what he’d said or if he thought I’d been too sensitive.
If he felt guilty, then good. His words had been hurtful.
If he didn’t, if he couldn’t understand why I was upset, then I had no reason to want to talk to him.
I twisted my fingers together as I contemplated opening my phone and reading his texts. But I knew if he said anything other than he wanted to apologize I would probably just end up even more worked up than I already was, and I didn’t have time for that. I had an exam the next morning and I needed to concentrate on getting ready. If I read his texts and only ended up upset again, it would ruin my concentration.
I decided not to look at them, at least not until tomorrow at the earliest. I put my phone on silent mode and went back to studying. It was still hard to concentrate but I aced the practice questions in the textbook, so I felt confident enough for tomorrow’s test.
I found myself surging off the bed to go into the living room to tell to Everly. I stopped before my feet even hit the floor.
Everly wasn’t home. She was with Julian.
I thought I’d gotten used to being alone, at being on my own, but I still had some ingrained habits. One of them was to celebrate with my sister whenever I felt like I’d overcame an obstacle or gotten a good grade. Our mother had always said it was important to celebrate even the small wins.
The thought made me oddly sad. Being with Seth had felt like I’d won the lottery. I’d wanted everyone in the world to know.
Everyone except for my sister.
I wished I’d been able to tell her without risking her freaking out and getting mad. I wished I could talk to her now. She probably would have been able to give me some good advice. After all, she’d gone through her own heartache and relationship troubles with Julian. Surely she would have something comforting to say.
But I hadn’t told her.
And now it was probably too late.
