"Why?" he breathed, a single word full of confusion and disbelief.
"I—"
I can't let you give up your life for me.
I knew I couldn't say that out loud. He would protest. He would cajole. He would give me all sorts of reassurances.
But none of it mattered.
Nathan's life had already been derailed because of his mother's burden.
I couldn't place more on his shoulders.
"Is this about the Stephanie thing?" he asked. "Because that meant nothing. My mom just got confused. I'm not dating anyone else, if that's what you think."
I knew he wasn't dating anyone else.
But it gave me an excuse.
I nodded slowly. His expression turned anguished.
"I swear, there's no one else," he said. "There's just you. Only you. My mom was just remembering the last girl I'd told her about. That's all."
I clasped my hands together in my lap, trying to hide the trembling.
"You've dated a lot," I said. "There's been a lot of women."
His face twisted.
"So what? That doesn't mean anything. That's all in the past!"
I stayed silent, staring down at my hands, willing the tears away, not allowing them to sting my eyes.
Nathan stood abruptly, screeching the chair across the floor.
"Are you really mad at me for that?" he asked, incredulous. "You knew exactly what I was when we met. Fuck,youwere the one who practically draggedmehome, remember?"
"I remember," I said, not looking at him.
The hurt on his face warped into something less distressed, more aggravated.
"I can't believe you're going to stand here and judge me!" he seethed. "We can't all be saints like you."
"I'm not a saint," I murmured.
I lied to my parents.
I lied to Nathan.
I lied to myself.
I'd told myself everything was going to be fine, not to worry, that things with Nathan and I would work out.
It had been a lie and I'd known it. Things were never going to work out. It was always going to end like this. The whole reason I'd gone to that concert was because I knew there was no future with a cocky, playboy rock star. It was all supposed to be casual, just for fun.
But I'd got in too deep. I'd fallen too fast. I'd fallen for Nathan.
And considering the combination of heartbreak and indignation on his face, I had to assume he felt something similar for me.
