My face crumpled. Nathan gathered me up in his arms. I buried my head in his chest, letting the sobs overtake me. He held me tight, one arm around my middle and one cupping the back of my head. I trembled against him, my whole body convulsing.
"I'm so scared," I choked out.
"I know," he whispered. "It's okay to be scared."
"I never wanted you to see me like this."
"I want to be here for you. I want to bewithyou. No matter what happens. I—"
He paused. I waited for him to continue. He didn't. I pulled back to look at him. His own face was flushed, not with tears, but with nerves. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong. He pressed a finger to my lips, hushing me.
"Wait," he said, sounding almost strangled. "I need to tell you something."
I nodded silently.
"I've never done this before," he said with a shaky, nervous laugh. "Probably isn't the best time either, with you crying on me. But…"
He cupped my cheeks with both hands and tipped my chin up.
"I love you," he said.
A fresh flood of tears cascaded down my face.
"I love you, too," I said, voice thick with emotion.
Nathan placed the softest of kisses on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him. The kiss was warm, comforting, like coming home to a roaring fire and a cozy blanket. I wanted to wrap myself up in him, snuggle down into the deepest parts of him and curl up under the protection of his beating heart.
He tried to pull back from the kiss, but I pressed on, deepening it, opening my mouth to his.
That warmth turned blazing hot, like a forest fire raging inside me, like a desert thirst, unstoppable, unquenchable.
Nathan's kisses always ignited something inside me. They made me feel safe, grounded. At the same time, they made me feel like I'd shot up to the sky and felt the sun's rays scorching my entire body.
He tugged me closer as I squirmed against him, wanting to feel the hard planes of his muscles against mine.
It was only when I tugged on his shirt and fumbled with his belt buckle that he fully stopped.
"Becca…" he said, breathless. "Are you sure you're well enough to…?"
"If you don't throw me down onto that bed and fuck me right now I swear I'm going to—"
He cut me off with a laugh and a kiss.
"Okay," he murmured into my mouth. "Okay."
With strong arms, he swooped me up and carried me to the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed so gently it wouldn't have disturbed a feather. He crawled on top of me and peppered my face, throat and shoulder with kisses, lavishing me with attention. I giggled and thrashed against him at the tickling sensation. He returned to my mouth as he began to undress me. I did the same for him, tugging his shirt over his head and unbuttoning his jeans. Soon, we were both bare to each other.
He reached into my nightstand for protection. I put a hand on his wrist.
"Are you… Can we…?" I bit my lip, flushing.
He understood what I meant and nodded.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I want to feel you," I said.
He lowered himself until he was between my spread legs.
