“I will never see you again.” More panic smacked full force into her stomach, stealing her breath, until a weakness climbed her legs. “I shall never know where you go or what you are doing. I shall always wonder and never be satisfied. I shall always miss you but never get to—” She lifted her eyes to his lips. She didn’t mean to look there, but they pulled at her, like a cord she could not untangle from.
“Even were I to stay, things would be different.”
She turned her back to him, lest he witness her lack of composure. Tears rushed hot and salty down her cheeks. Everything was over. All those months of playing and pretending and loving and …
No, not loving. Never loving. The rest of the world could claim and testify to such nonsense, but never her. She was far too strong for that. She knew reality because she had witnessed it at nine years old and learned the truth in one heartbreaking lesson. Except now …
Behind her, his hands folded around her arms. “You shall forget me.”
She shook her head. He was too much a part of her to forget. They were entwined, though how she could not understand. To lose him would end her. She could not bear it. Shewouldnot bear it. “I shall talk to Father again. I shall persuade him.”
“It does not matter. I must leave either way.”
“But Mr. Ribton … he could not get on without you.”
“Isaac shall help.”
“He is yet young.”
“Isabella, I cannot—”
“Please. Say nothing more.” She turned back around. “Let us not even say goodbye.” For the second time, she was drawn to his lips. They quivered as hers quivered. They begged to be touched, yet he would never force his kiss upon her again.
That was why she loved him. For his goodness. She tried to retract the thought, but she was already tiptoeing and pressing her mouth into his. She gave him her warmth, her affection, every tender thought and emotion of her soul. She spoke everything she felt for him without words.
His arms pulled her into his chest. His fingers weaved into her hair.
He smelled of wood, hay, and leather and tasted of haunting sweetness. A sweetness that would poison her later. She gasped and turned her face away, but his lips dragged to her cheek, his breath hot against her skin.
A door banged open.
She ripped herself from his arms, tripped backward into a jangling shelf, as a tall figure appeared in the doorway of the harness room.
Several seconds passed in silence.
She was aware of everything. Her tousled hair. The bumps pebbling her arms. William’s heavy breathing and the shadow’s rigid stance.
Then the figure took one step into the candlelight. “Isabella, go back inside the house.” Father’s icy voice sent a chill up her spine. “Now.”
CHAPTER 15
Shame tunneled through every inch of William. He held himself taller when the only thing he wished to do was bust out of this cursed room. How could this have happened?
He had no right to speak with her.
To love her was madness.
Lord Gresham stepped sideways as Isabella left the harness room. Then the door whined shut. Silence again, the only sound their breathing.
“How dare you.” Lord Gresham stepped closer. “How dare you put your unclean hands on my daughter.”
Unclean?Because he shoveled dung and cleaned stalls, or because he possessed no wealth?
“I have granted you benevolence. I have provided for you despite the apprehension you brought upon my family. And you repay me by luring my daughter into the dark with you?”
“No harm was wrought against your daughter, my lord.”
“You kissed her. That is harm enough.”
