Dax leaves me a message. A ‘see you soon’cop-out. He’ll be gone for weeks and yet couldn’t bring himself to even say goodbye? It hurts, though I try to give him the benefit of the doubt after last night. I understand how guilty he must feel for going against Aiden and forcing me to see those names without warning. No one knows the lengths people take to keep loved ones safe better than I do, so I get it. I’d sacrifice the world if it meant saving AJ, TJ, and Casey.
I guess I can add him and Aiden to that list now too.
On the flip side, I’m glad Sylvie’s gone. Selfish as that sounds, even looking at that girl is hard work. Not only has she proven herself a liar, but she’s a danger to all of us—herself included. I don’t know whether that’s because of naivety or deliberate shrewdness. I’m not willing to risk what it takes to find out.
Aiden places a sweet coffee down in front of me. Sliding into the seat opposite as I watch him get ready to leave me, too.
“Study hard, but don’t forget to chill out.”
“I’ve no idea what that means,” I tease despite it also bearing truth.
He rolls his eyes playfully. “Get some casual reading done, watch movies, listen to music, binge a TV series, go for a walk, go for a swim.”
“There’s a pool?”
“They didn’t show you the pool? I’ll tell Cas to show you the gym facilities. There’s a pool, spa, masseuse, steam rooms…this place is a regular resort.” He laughs, but it lacks his carefree levity.
“I’ll take a look,” I promise. “Though, this is a great time to just buckle down and clear a module. The sooner I get it done, the sooner I can get on my feet.”
Aiden sees right through to the heart of me. “You’re still worried about money?”
“More like, I want to earn my way,” I admit. Aiden nods in understanding. He focuses on my face, staring too long into my eyes as though reading the tenor of my thoughts. Thoughts that spin back to my guilt. “About last night,” I start.
But Aiden raises his hand to stop me. “Don’t worry about it. I trust you to do whatever you need—whatever you feel is right to keep yourself safe. I want to ensure that as much as Dax does, I’m just not in the moral position to…” he trails off. I don’t need him to say it. Especially not when I’m holding secrets from him.
“Aiden, I get it. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt either.” Truth.
“None of this is fair, Tiger., but if it comes to it, choose yourself first. Every. Damn. Time. Okay?” The desperate way he says it has me wondering if he knows. Dax took the moral dilemma out of Aiden’s hands and left him with plausible deniability. The intensity in Aiden’s whiskey-gaze has me suspecting he knows Dax better than to believe he left it alone.
“Okay.”
He sucks in a sharp breath and walks toward the stairs. Abackpack is packed and leans against the post waiting. “I’ll call to check in as soon as I can. Go anywhere you’d like within the grounds. Just be sure to tell Cas and don’t leave the compound.”
“Of course.”
“I’m pretty sure Ben will hover around to keep you company if you need it,” he adds, grinning.
“No doubt.” I laugh, knowing he’s probably somewhere listening to everything as we speak.
“Cas’s number is in your phone along with Ben’s. Tom requested yours too, but while he’s outside the compound, I’m reluctant to give it to him. I can’t trust his security.”
“I get it.”
“Right.” He swings the heavy bag onto his back. “I’d better go.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, Dax is going to be off grid. He’ll make contact when he can, but don’t be upset if it takes a while, okay?”
“Okay. Stop worrying. I’m just waiting for your ass to leave so I can get to work,” I joke. He sees my lie for what it is—false bravado.
“Be good, Tiger.”
I don’t move as Aiden marches down the stairs. Nor when the door downstairs creaks open and clicks shut again behind him.
I’m still there twenty minutes later with my stone-cold coffee untouched, wondering what it means that he didn’t kiss me goodbye and beating myself up for not chasing after him to kiss him instead.
Have we fucked this thing between the three of us already? Why does everything feel broken?
