Uh oh. Why does it feel like I’m in trouble?And then the most obvious reason hits me. “You’ve spoken to Dax?”
Aiden nods. “This afternoon. He called me as I’m heading back and tells me he’s majorly fucked things up. Warns me to get back and check on you. Says that it’s best if I have a chat with you and see if you’d prefer to be relocated.”
Relocated? “What!” He wants to ship me off? Would I go into hiding like my family? On my own? How would that solve anything?
“Are you unhappy here, Jules?” Aiden continues, interrupting my panic. “Did Dax do something you didn’t want him to do?”
His words pour ice on the inferno of possibilities in my head. Everything stops. My stomach twists, and I feel sick again. “Is that what he said?”
“He suggested something along those lines,” Aiden confirms. “He’s worried about your safety and well-being. He doesn’t want you to feel stuck or reliant upon someone you don’t trust.”
Shit. I’ve really screwed up and yet an apology isn’t the first thing out of my mouth. Snark seems to win out. “Talk about an overreaction…”
“So, what really happened? Why is Dax beating himself up? Do I need to beat him some too?” Aiden straightens, awaiting my answer. For a split second, I think he’s kidding and then I see his white-knuckled fists clenching. He means it. He’d hurt his boss…friend…whatever for me.
That’s not what I want. This is already so much bigger than I want it to be. I was just trying to pull away so I wouldn’t get hurt. I never imagined it would offend Dax so badly. “No! God, no. He’s not done anything wrong exactly.”
“Not exactly…” Aiden’s head tilts to the side as I try to plan my explanation. Is he playing with me? Anything I might say feels stupid. How do I explain Dax told Frank I’ll never be what Celeste was to him?
“I don’t want to feel used anymore.”
“Used?”
Shit. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Dax and I…we…”
Aiden’s eyes sparkle as he nods. “Dax couldn’t wait more than one night before he snuck into your room and slipped his tongue between your thighs?” He poses it as a question but he clearly knows exactly what Dax and I did. I was right about the two ofthem gossiping about me.
I hold my chin up. “Yes, but did he also tell you that he quit at the brink of my orgasm, wiped me from his skin like I was diseased, and fled from my room after reminding me I’ll never mean anything to him? Hmm? Did you gossip about that too?”
“There she is. Hello, Tiger.” Aiden leans back, not in the least bit upset at my outburst or accusation. “He told me, but in his version, he had a trigger response to you calling him by his given name and immediately regretted it.”
“Trigger response?”
“Something that reminds you of a trauma and…”
“I know what a trigger response is. I’m asking why his own name triggered him?”
“That, unfortunately, isn’t my story to tell.”
“Other people call him Dean,” I reason, more for myself than Aiden, but he answers me anyway.
“Those other people knew him when he was called Dean. He calls himself Dax now, and for a reason. It’s important to him that you know him as who he is now and not who he was then. That’s all I can tell you.”
“But he told Frank I’m nothing like Celeste…”
“So, you overheard that too.” Aiden takes a deep breath. “He’s going to have to explain that one himself. It’s not my place.”
“He doesn’t need to explain at all. It made sense in the moment. I heard the way he said it. She clearly meant a lot to him.”
Aiden watches me carefully and then shifts the direction of our discussion. “You must care about him.”
“I…what?”
“You’re hurt by what he said. You clearly want to mean something to him.”
“I just don’t want to be a game. I don’t want to be used and discarded like I’m nothing. I’m not asking for commitment or love or anything impossible. I just want to be respected. I deserve that much.” Even if it’s only from myself.
“You do. It’s the reason I asked him to wait until everything was safe before acting on his attraction to you.”
