Tommy blinked as he processed those words. “This isn’t going to go away?” His heart flipped over in panic. He couldn’t live this way.
“Not what I said at all. Only that medication doesn’t normally help. And honestly, for those with addiction problems, we try not to medicate,” Dr. Brigham said. “You already have a built-in need to self-medicate, and how is adding medications going to solve that?”
“Will he heal on his own then?” Paige asked. “Depression is a big deal and this brain thing sounds uncomfortable.”
“That is why we develop a plan. Just because we aren’t starting with medication, does not mean you’ll never have it.” The doctor smiled gently at Tommy. “The pulses you feel, the strange bouts of weakness, fever, nausea, all that is a sign of healing, as uncomfortable as it is.”
“It’s not withdrawal?” Tommy asked. Everyone had told him that he couldn’t still be in withdrawal. Not after all this time. The drugs had all long since left his system, but his body screamed otherwise.
“Not really. Think of it as your brain trying to come back online after a major power outage.”
That made sense. “It’s on the fritz.”
Dr. Brigham nodded. “It is. Like someone rushed to plug everything back in but switched a few wires. We want to help it work out the kinks. Put things back where they belong. Though sometimes rerouting is required, which in your case means learning to function without being medicated.”
“Okay. How do I do that?” Tommy wondered. “Is it even possible?”
“Start with the basics. Balanced diet, a handful of supplements, some basic exercise, therapy to help direct the healing, and sleep. Sleep is incredibly important to healing like this. It gives the brain time to rewire.”
“But I don’t sleep.” Not really. He teetered on the edge, but rarely dropped off, and even when he did, it didn’t feel restful.
“We’ll be working on that. Again, we are starting with a no medication approach. The goal is to remove that crutch. The cravings will come and go, but you understand the drugs weren’t really doing good things for you?”
Tommy sighed. “The benzo helped at first.”
“And when did you start taking it?” The doctor asked. “We couldn’t find a set date, but you’ve seen a lot of doctors.”
“Two years ago, maybe? After a big international tour. I couldn’t sleep. Was a little stressed.” He’d been drinking a lot.
“And taking more than prescribed?” She prompted.
He shrugged. “Last year maybe? After the mess with Ru started. It didn’t seem to be helping anymore. It said take as needed, but then I was running out a lot faster and had to get more. Some of the doctors hesitated to prescribe more.” He paused, knowing what he’d done was wrong. “I found other doctors.”
“That’s because it’s meant to be short-term. Like painkillers. And we are very cautious with those who have a history of dependency.”
Prior to this, he didn’t think he did.
“Family history counts too,” Dr. Brigham glanced to Tommy’s mother.
When he looked over, she was flushed, but nodding. “My brother has issues with alcohol.”
“My dad did,” Paige admitted. “I don’t think he ever got help. I don’t ever touch the stuff. Bas’s dad still hasn’t gotten help. But you’ll never see Bas look at alcohol.”
“I should have shared it with the family,” Tommy’s mother agreed.
“Alcohol addiction is very common,” the doctor agreed. “There is a lot of shame placed on those with addictions in this world, but it comes in many forms and is a psychological dependency. Alcohol and drugs create both a psychological and physical reliance. The physical part takes some time to heal, the mental part will need training.”
“Our plan is to heal?” Tommy clarified. “Treat this like a brain injury?”
“It is a brain injury of a different sort. But, yes. You’ll have addiction counseling as well as other therapy, but the physical end we are treating like a brain injury. If you broke an arm, you wouldn’t pretend it wasn’t broken, right? You’d reset it, bind it, give it time to heal.”
“But we can’t reset my brain.”
“No. That’s what sleep and therapy is for.”
He sighed. “I wish I could sleep.”
“It’s on the top of the list. I think you’ll find once you start sleeping, your recovery will be much faster. In the meantime, it means managing your depression the hard way. Through therapy and coping mechanisms.”
