Selena had the privilege of seeing Walter’s eyes go even wider at that. “This is ridiculous,” he said. His gaze swept the crowd that had assembled in the church. Lupé stepped in front of Selena defensively and Gordon, who was older than Grandma Billy and a lot frailer, hefted his binoculars in a threatening manner.
“You can’t do that, Jenny,” said Grandma Billy. “Ifyoudo it, it’s police brutality. Whereas ifIthrow him out, it’s just ordinary brutality.”She tried to advance in a threatening manner, and was hastily blocked by Father Aguirre.
The priest cleared his throat. “I think,” he said, in his most gentle voice, “that perhaps the house of God is not the place for this?”
Jenny, chief of police, took this as permission to proceed and began herding Walter toward the doors. Everyone stepped back to clear a path, except for Grandma Billy, who was doing an excellent impression of an angry Chihuahua being thwarted by a very resigned German shepherd.
Walter tried to catch Selena’s eye over the heads of her friends. “Selena—” he started to say.
“Keep moving,” Jenny said, in a voice suited to crowd control and third-grade teachers.
He kept moving. The whole group shuffled out the door after him, and Selena watched Walter go, with many backward glances, to his rental car. Jenny stood in front of it, arms folded, and eventually the car backed up and Walter drove away in a cloud of white dust, and Selena never saw him again.
Epilogue
“I can’t believe you actually cracked your neck at him,” said Father Aguirre. “I was afraid I’d start laughing and give the whole thing away.”
Mayor Jenny grinned. “Remember that time I fell of the ladder and had to have neck surgery? It sounds like popcorn ever since.” Her grin turned fierce. “Not that I wouldn’t have popped him one if I had to. What a slimy little bastard. Begging your pardon, Selena.”
“No, no,” said Selena. They had all retired to the rectory and even though her heart had stopped racing, she still couldn’t quite believe that Walter hadleft. And not just left, but beendefeated, as if he were a dragon and her friends had all turned up to help her slay him. “He is slimy, isn’t he?”
“Sure is,” said Grandma Billy. “All that ‘oh, you’re just having an episode’ talk, trying to make you think you’re crazy. I’m sorry Jennydidn’tpunch him.”
“I’d have had to arrest myself for assault. It gets awkward, particularly when I have to read myself my rights.”
“Wait a moment,” said Father Aguirre, giving Billy a suspicious look. “He said all thatbeforeyou came storming in.”
Grandma Billy smirked. “Oh, I listened in for a bit. Had to make sure my grand entrance was timed right.”
“It waswonderful,” Selena said. “Allof you were wonderful.”
“I was, wasn’t I?” Grandma preened.
“You were pretty wonderful yourself,” Lupé said.
“I can’t believe I told him to fuck off.” A giggle escaped her. Selena put her hands to her cheeks. They felt hot.
“Generally I’d prefer you didn’t swear in the house of the Lord, but this time I think it was justified.” Father Aguirre went to a cupboard and pulled out a bottle. “I also think this is justified, even though it’s rather early.”
He passed glasses around and splashed dark red wine into them. Selena took a sip, feeling half drunk before it even touched her tongue. Grandma Billy tried to take two glasses and Father Aguirre took one away.
Only one thing nagged at Selena’s euphoria. “Walter wasn’t completely wrong,” she admitted. “I have been imposing on you all dreadfully.”
“Have not,” said Grandma Billy.
“You practically ran the catering for the last two months,” Lupé added.
“But I have.” She didn’t want to mention Snake-Eater in front of Gordon and Lupé, and maybe that really hadn’t been her fault, but there were other things ... “I’d have starved those first few months if you all didn’t keep feeding me. And if Grandma didn’t keep giving me eggs.”
“Eggs?!” Lupé drew herself up to her not particularly substantial height. “Grandma Billy, you havenotbeen dumping your extra eggs on this poor girl!”
Guilt flashed across Grandma Billy’s face, an expression so unfamiliar that Selena froze with her wineglass still halfway to her lips.
“You have! Oh my god, Selena, how many eggs have you been eating?”
“Err ... well ... when there wasn’t a dinner here at the church, I’d make an omelet ...”
Father Aguirre put his face in his hands. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.”
