Dirk eyes him until he’s out of the room, and stares in the direction he went. “Lying little shit,” he says without any heat. “Syd’s gone.” He shuts the door behind him, and as soon as he does, the anger, which I realize now was false bravado, vanishes like steam.
He turns, and I stand, opening my arms for him. Dirk collides with my torso, and I sweep myself around him. “What happened, pretty boy?”
His body shakes. He sniffles. “I have to quit hockey.”
“What?”
Dirk gives me the rundown of their night. Whatever anger he unloaded into the air finds me, and I glow red hot with it. “How could he let you do that?”
“It’s not about him letting me, this is about me taking the weight off him. You should have seen him, Trav. It was like every bad thing that ever happened to him fell away. I did that—I have the power to keep that tension away. It’s about time.”
I shake my head. “No. Not like this. You can’t do this, Dirk.”
“I am. I’m not taking it back.”
“You have to.”
“Why?Whydo I have to?”
“It’s dishonest.”
That hangs in the air for a beat, because he knows it is. But now that I’ve said it out loud, I’ve made it real. He can’t ignore the little voice that’s probably already whispering to him.
He shrugs. “What’s one more thing at this point?”
“Not the same kind of dishonest, Dirk.”
“Oh well, at least it’s not murder.”
I knew that one was gonna keep biting me in the ass, but I couldn’t have predicted how much it would sting. “You don’t get to keep using that.”
“Actually, I do. Murder? Preeeeety bad. Maybe not to your criminal ass, but definitely to the rest of us civilians.”
I already have my arms around him, but I get in his space, crowding him, giving him the big, dominant energy he likes feeling from me. “I’ll tell you what’s criminal: sleeping without you.”
He sighs with longing, letting his head rest on my chest. More knots of him loosen, and I like to think that’s because I’m with him. “I missed you last night, Trav. That’s why I know I’ve made the right choice.”
“Choice?”
“Yeah. It was you or hockey. There was no fucking question. Are you into marriage for real? Beyond our husband banter, I mean. Because if you’d have asked me before, I would have said fuck marriage. But Rhett has this whole ‘own you on paper’ thing going, and I’ve fallen hook, line, and sinker for it. I want to own you on paper, and I want you to own me on paper. I want to make it harder for you to leave me. I want rings. I want to tell people you’re mine.”
He tilts his chin up, blinking at me. Whoa, there’s a lot to unpack there.
“What do you mean you chose me over hockey?”
“Hunt’s done so much for me, and I never do anything he wants me to do.”
“Like me.”
“Yeah, and hockey. He’s always wanted me to go to university. I can’t give you up, that’s not even on the table, so it was hockey.”
“You don’t have to choose.”
“I do. And I know I’ve been in a mood today, but I’d do it again. No regrets, Trav.”
In a mood is putting it lightly. I toy with his lower lip. “I’m touched, but I never want you to have to make that choice. You’re not doing it.”
“Trav!”
