But it’s the secret we need. A secret kept from the world and us. We’re both just as guilty of not wanting to admit out loud what we’re feeling. What we can’t deny is the connection and the universal powers that keep pushing us together. I’m compelled to tell him about Rhett, but if I do then I can never look at him again. I’m embarrassed that I can’t seem to get over my first love and that I’m actually fucking considering getting back together with him because it’s the easy thing to do.
It's not like I don’t love Rhett. He said he’s fixing everything and isn’t that what I wanted? I should be walking on air, but I’m not. Something’s broken with me and Rhett and I’m not sure it can ever be fixed.
He rests his forehead against mine and takes a breath like he just wants to share the same air with me for one unlonely second. I close my eyes so I can feel the heartbeat of his massive energy. I want him to go the fuck away and I want him never to leave me.
“C’mon, trouble. Let me do something about it.”
My eyes pop open. “You can’t.” I don’t want him to feel sorry for me either. I push him away. “If you’ll excuse me,” I try to say like an uppity prick, “I need to get back to my threesome. I’m totally getting laid tonight.”
I move to leave. A powerful hand stops me. “Not happening, Leslie.”
“You’re a fucking caveman, you know that?” Never mind how much I like cavemen. I have a damn type and Mercy’s got a weird ass claim on me. It’s a small one, but it feels like more. We’re not something and yet we’re not nothing.
I was supposed to get better at having relationships, not worse. I’ve gone backward.
He smirks. “Call me whatever the fuck you want. It’s still not happening.”
Anger rises up my neck. How dare he tell me who I can and can’t let fuck me. “Then you’d better be planning to fuck me tonight.”
“That’s not happening, either.” He takes my left hand and shows it to me. “Jack meet hand. Use this. Knock yourself the fuck out.”
Pulling himself away as if it takes Herculean effort, he thinks he’s walking away from me. I catch his wrist easily, but spinning him around takes more strength than I expect it to. How drunk am I? If I don’t know the answer to that, maybe all I should fuck is my hand tonight. I know he’s not just being practical though.
I’ve still got his attention and his wrist burning cinders into my palm. “I don’t have to obey you, asshole.”
“You’re right. You don’t have to, but you will.” His nimble fingers hook under the waistband of my jeans and use them to pull me flush with him. “Know why?”
“W-Why?”
“Somewhere deep down you know you’re mine, Jack.”
He releases me gently and I’m treated to the back of him as he strides away. “Challenge fucking accepted,Coach,” I call after him.
His. Don’t fuck anyone. Oh yeah, and I’m not gonna fuck you either.What a bunch of psychopathic bullshit.
Nothing changes the fact that I’m on fire right now, my dick going up in blue flames because that’s exactly the possessive temperature I like. I’m also not crying anymore. I’m fueled with sex-driven rage. I could fuck every man from here to Jupiter with this kind of gasoline on the fire.
Not tonight though. No, not because Mercy said so. Fuck him. Because I don’twantto.
Yeah. That’s the reason.
Starting tomorrow, I’m doubling down on my mission to get laid in every city this season. Screw Mercy. Screw Rhett. This is the season of Jack.
Know what I could use more of? Tequila. Tequila and I are true BFFs and tonight I’m going to party with them.
Chapter9
Toothbrush Therapy
MERCY
When I was their age, I didn’t need more than twenty-four hours to cure my hangovers. Greasy breakfast, a pot of coffee, two Advil, and I was right as rain. Their social was Saturday, today is Monday and the ice might as well be molasses for how slow they’re moving.
Leslie isn’t here.
What was I thinking? I wasn’t and that’s the problem. His sadness harkened to me. He’s lonely in the same way I am and like a fool, I rode in on my dark steed to save him. Then I banned him from picking up guys and told him he knew he was mine even though I’m never planning to make him mine.
That’s messed up.
