Jenny
I closed the door and braced my palms against it.Keeping my back to Deacon, I struggled with my idiocy and toyed with the idea of walking out into the snow in my socks and leaving him here.
Deacon Raine, my first and only love, the one who shattered my heart, was in my safe space.
And I was the fool who opened the door.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
How could I do this to myself?
Without turning around, I leaned forward and dropped my forehead to the door.Forcing my voice through the tightness in my throat, I murmured, “I think you should le—”
His large hands curled around my shoulders.
I gasped, holding my breath at the sudden shock of his touch.
The weight of his hands grounded me to the terrifying present.
“I can’t.”He stroked the nape of my neck with his thumbs before tipping his forehead down to meet the back of my head.“Maybe I should leave you in peace,” he murmured, “but I can’t, Jenny.I’ve never been able to get you out of my head.Knowing what I know now, I don’t want to.”
Don’t go back there, I chanted in my head as I forced myself to breathe slowly,don’t go back there.
His breath shuddered.“If I had known--”
“It was a long time ago,” I countered, trembling beneath his touch, afraid to move a millimeter in case he lifted his hands.
Equally afraid he wouldn’t.
His hold on me tightened.“I loved you,” he breathed, nuzzling my hair.
I squeezed my stinging eyes shut, my face scrunching with the effort to remain quiet.
Loved.
Past tense.
“I thought you betrayed me,” he continued, his voice gruff.“I never would have left you otherwise.”
Eventually, you would have.
Holding that truth like a shield, I pushed off the door and spun on my heel to confront the bigger issue.
While our situation was extreme, it didn’t take much for people to think the worst of me.
“Except I didn’t betray you,” I snapped as he stepped back to give me some room.
“I know that now,” he said, his dark brown eyes steady on mine as he hitched his hands on his hips.His hair was slowly growing out, and thick stubble lined his cheeks.
He was beginning to look like mine.
I fisted my hands at my sides as my breath quickened, my eyes darting down to his hands, jerking back when he moved to tuck them into his front pockets.
Deacon was in my safe space.
Moving slowly, he raised his hands, unzipped his coat, and dropped it onto the floor.
I should have offered to take it.
