“You didn’t have to do this, but I’m so thankful.”
“I’m so sorry, Willow. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. This is amazing. Thank you.”
“I have a couple more things to show you,” he says. He shows me a photograph, and I look eagerly, expecting another picture of my parents. But instead, it’s a young teenage boy I don’t recognize.
“Oh… who’s this? Please don’t tell me it’s my real dad,” I say, only half-joking.
He shakes his head. “No, this is David.”
“Oh,” I say softly. “Your cousin David?”
He nods slowly. “Yeah… my cousin, my best friend in the world.”
He pulls out another slip of paper—a memorial from a funeral. I see David’s photo at the top. I reach over and grab Sebastian’s hand.
“I’m so sorry, Sebastian. I know how hard it is to lose someone.”
“Read it,” he says.
I read the blurb quickly. He sounds like he was a really cool guy.
“Now read the dates.”
I read the day of his birth and the day of his death, then look back at Sebastian.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“I know this is hard. Look at the day he died.”
I read it again. I stare at him in confusion. “What is it?”
Then I read it again. “Oh my gosh,” I whisper. “He died on the same day as my parents. What are the chances?”
Sebastian leans back, rubbing his temples, his eyes bleak. “He died on the same day as your parents, Willow.”
“I know… I see. He died in a car crash, right?”
Suddenly, it dawns on me what he’s saying. I feel all the blood leave my body. “Was he the drunk driver?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
He nods slowly. My heart breaks at the news. A guttural sob escapes Sebastian and real, gut-wrenching tears roll down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I understand. If you never want to see me again… I understand. If you can never love me…”
I stare at this man that I love. I stare at his heartbreak. I stare at the pain he’s in. I think of myself. I think of my parents. I think of them losing their lives at the hands of his cousin, who was irresponsible, who shouldn’t have been driving. I just feel love pouring out of me as I stare at this man, broken for someone else’s actions.
This man is broken because he still held himself accountable for not being there for his cousin. And I realize just how deeply he feels. I realize how deep his commitment is to those he loves, even more so than I did before.
I understand, at the core of everything, why he did what he did for Sergio, why he’s doing what he’s doing for me. And I know that this is a good man.
I reach over and grab his hands. I wipe the tears from his face. I’ve never seen a grown man cry—not a man like Sebastian.So tall, so strong, so handsome, so powerful. He’s an alpha male. Dominating. And yet, he’s here with me, vulnerable. His eyes look into mine, bleak and scared. I understand. And I’m sorry.
“Listen to me, Sebastian,” I say softly, and then I raise my voice because I want him to hear me. “You are not responsible for David’s actions. You’re not responsible for Sergio’s actions. You’re not responsible for Louisa’s actions. You’re not even responsible for my actions. You can’t control other people. You can’t save them. You can’t fix them. And you can’t expect other people to fix you or save you either. I’ve learned that recently. You can be there for them. You can provide support for them. You can care for them. But nothing you can do can control their destiny.
“All my life I was waiting, hoping, for someone to whisk me away and change my life. Someone to save me from my abject misery, my horrible life with my aunt and cousin. But you know what I realized? I needed to save myself. I needed to stand up for myself. I needed to be there for myself. I needed to be my own savior. I needed to fix my life, fix my broken heart. I needed to make moves for me.
“You’re not responsible for David’s actions. He chose to drink, and he chose to drive, whether or not he was emotionally with it or not. You cannot let yourself carry that burden any longer. And I certainly don’t blame you. I don’t want to hate you. I miss my parents more than anything in the world, and if I could have them back, I would. But I love you, Sebastian. I love you.”
“You love me… really? Still? But do you need me?”
