Never mind. I’ll stay in these freezing cold woods.
She takes a deep breath. “When you say you weren’t faking it, it makes me think that you wanted to kiss Levi and ditto for him. And when you want to kiss your friend, even after knowing him your whole life, it says something. Do you know what it says?”
“He’s pretty cute?”
She chuckles. “That he is. But that boy is intentional. Always has been. My guess is that kissing you wasn’t a whim for him. And don’t you tell me it was a whim for you.”
I sigh. “It wasn’t.”
“Am I to understand that after being snowed in at a remote cabin that contains a ton of shared memories, you two did some more kissing?”
“It’sLevi, Mom.”
“So that’s a yes.”
I groan. “Almost.”
“Thank goodness,” she says.
“Mom! You said you’re on my side.”
“Of course I am. That’s why I’m so happy.”
“I’m not! I’m confused, and kind of mad, and a lot miserable, and—”
“Scared?” she interjects.
“Yes.” I only wish the word had hard consonants so I could bite it out.
“As much as I would love to, I can’t tell you what to do here, Taylor. You’ll use me as your escape hatch.”
“Because you would tell me to go with this, and when it inevitably crashes and burns, I’ll blame you and say you talked me into it?”
“Taylor. I can’t tell you what to do.” She gives each word a slight punch.
“What if this blows up?” That’s the fear. Of course that’s the fear. That my feelings are stronger. That if I let them out, I won’t be able to deny their full strength like I have for years. That I’m so far ahead, he’ll never catch up. That he’ll never want to.
I’m even scared that he might feel as strongly as I do, but then what? His life is not in Creekville, but the town is who I am.
“What if it doesn’t?” she asks back. “Think about this. Hasn’t Levi always pushed you into your favorite adventures? And haven’t you always trusted him enough to let him?”
I let the words sit there. I make myself feel them.
She’s right.
“Tay?”
“I’m here. But I have to go.”
“You need to talk to Levi?”
“Actually, I think I need to listen.”
Chapter Fifteen
Levi
She’sbeengoneforever.
